Scrooge McDuck with his lucky dime.

I'm in the UK. I found a dime on the floor. I feel like Scrooge McDuck.

Tempted to post photo dumps of my notebooks. My handwriting looks illegal. Illicit? Illegitimate? Illegible.

“The occult virtues are to know, to dare, to will, and to keep silence. I’m just saying.”

— James Garside

Comedy is all about timing...

*awkward silence*

Trust me it will be worth it.

My tagline for my Substack for years has been:

Become evil. Rule the world. Maybe drink tea first and sit down for a bit.

I think it’s hilarious but it's an in-joke that nobody gets.

I’ve changed it to:

A regular series of irregular thoughts. Could be anything. Mostly rants.

What do you think?

James Garside Journalist, author, and writer. I write about everything from art, culture, and politics to tech, travel, and the occult. Sometimes in ways that get me into trouble. I'm also funny — I probably s

Want to chat? Buy me a coffee and #AskMeAnything.

buymeacoffee.com/jamesgarside

I Type Holes in Keyboard Covers This one survived

You wouldn’t believe the unforgivable things that I’ve done to keyboard covers. Or how much I need one as a writer. Keyboard covers aren’t sexy but they are essential. Here’s my hot take on why you need one and my recommendation of which you should get.

open.substack.com/pub/jamesgar...

I Type Holes in Keyboard Covers This one survived

Problem solved: medium.com/@jamesgarsid...

I type holes in keyboard covers. That’s not a metaphor. Actual holes. This one survived.

I type holes in keyboard covers. That’s not a metaphor. Actual holes. This one survived.

In 2025 I read 135 books. In 2026 I realised that social media is dead so nobody will see or care about such updates. Which is great as it gives you more time to spend reading.

a woman says if the apocalypse comes ... beep me ! ALT: a woman says if the apocalypse comes ... beep me !

I ended up watching Farscape as pure nostalgic escapism. I watched it when I was a kid but missed episodes because I was busy with other things.

"Fuck AI.” — Emily Dickinson (probably)

Is Stranger Things worth watching? I've never seen it. What's it like? The Goonies meets X Files? ET meets IT? Not as good as Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Should I rewatch Buffy? I'll rewatch Buffy.

Horse in field.

I’m from Yorkshire. The only people who take ketamine are horses.

jamesgarside.substack.com

If you trust editors, or “accept all” on Grammarly, this is for you.

Why did AI go to the dentist? Too fake.

I swear it's there. I swear it is.

The moon has switched to Dark Mode.

The moon has switched to Dark Mode.

Happy Thanksgiving to my friends across the pond.

I give up.

Me: “I’m non-binary.”

Family: “But you’re not though.”

Oh honey, I don't care.

People should be less Karen and more Karen Walker.

Behind-the-scenes jamesgarside.net

Behind-the-scenes jamesgarside.net

PS. I even took a couple of behind-the-scenes shots for your amusement and edification.

Trust me, I'm a professional!

I finally plucked up the courage to record a recruitment video of myself.

I've been meaning to start on YouTube for years. I keep putting it off. Why? Because I'm a nervous wreck and can't stand the way I look.

Instead of humiliating myself privately I decided to share it with you.

I'm still Jimmy from the block
Used to shop at Lidl, now I sleep a lot

Virtual Tour of my website. For people who are too lazy to click a link.

Told them to fuck off.

Why yes I’m from Yorkshire. How could you tell?

Also: I did all this to save four pounds.

Did I mention that I’m from Yorkshire?

The alternative was spending more money on customer service phone calls than the clothes I was trying to buy.

Solved the problem myself.

Then was targeted by scammers trying to impersonate the retailer.

This is why we can't have nice things.

Spent longer sorting out a 10% discount on t-shirts than some people spend planning military operations.

I donated clothes in return for a voucher that didn’t work.

Followed a rabbit trail of dead customer service channels and social media profiles.

Download my PDF completely for free. All it costs you is your soul… Email. I meant email.

According to English Qabalah the meaning of my name is 666. According to my friends that explains a lot.