Alex Jones Goes on Wild, Shirtless, On-Air Tirade After The Onion Reaches Deal to Buy InfoWars: ‘They’re Body Snatchers!’ Alex Jones on Monday appeared on InfoWars shirtless to rage about The Onion reportedly reaching an agreement to buy his company.

This is what Alex Jones considers a reasoned and well-thought out response to The Onion taking over his scam of a business.

www.mediaite.com/media/tv/ale...

Iran War Live Updates: Two Ships Are Fired On As Iran Says the Strait of Hormuz is Closed

Well, that Iran ceasefire didn’t last long. Who could’ve guessed that doing the thing you don’t want someone else to do wouldn’t work as a strategy?

www.nytimes.com/live/2026/04...

Pentagon Pete Cites Fake ‘Pulp Fiction’ Bible Verse in Bonkers Prayer Meeting The defense secretary solemnly read the “prayer,” much of which seemed to be the lines delivered by a fictitious hitman in the 1994 film.

I love this. I really hope someone in the Defense department convinces Pete “Liquorhead” Hegseth that “Just keep swimming” is one of Jesus’ beatitudes.

www.thedailybeast.com/pentagon-pet...

Amtrak EMPIRE BUILDER Sleeper Train (Seattle to Chicago) YouTube video by Jeb Brooks

I’ve always wanted to go on a cross country trip by train in a sleeper cab. Looks like the ultimate sound machine and rocking bed sleep.

youtu.be/teN-Y1wAu78?...

Whadaya know? There’s still some pockets of sanity in this world.

WATCH: Donald Trump Enters UFC 327 to Big Roar — Then Approaches Joe Rogan After Podcast Star Has Ripped Iran War President Donald Trump quickly approached podcast star and UFC commentator Joe Rogan at UFC 327 in Miami, after Rogan has ripped the Iran war in recent weeks

Just a friendly reminder that Joe Rogan is still full of it.

www.mediaite.com/politics/wat...

Wolf Blitzer Shares Easter Message From Artemis II Astronaut CNN's Wolf Blitzer signed off Sunday afternoon by sharing an Easter message from the Artemis II astronauts as they inch closer to the moon.

Since “a certain someone” didn’t deliver an Easter message worth sharing, here’s one we deserve from the Artemis II astronauts.

www.mediaite.com/media/news/c...

No One at Waffle House Remembers FEMA Official Who Says He Teleported In

Stories like this are proof that quality journalism is still hard at work.

www.nytimes.com/2026/04/03/u...

Forest Service Will Close Research Stations That Study Wildfire Risk

Here’s the latest dumb government move that helps absolutely no one…

www.nytimes.com/2026/04/03/c...

I don’t wanna hear any more news stories about Theo Von and Joe Rogan criticizing Trump at this stage. They helped him become president.

They don’t get to have buyer’s remorse when they are the ones who did the selling.

Trump Administration Live Updates: House Punts on D.H.S. Spending, Extending Shutdown

I’m starting to wonder if our “Do Nothing Congress” think that’s a compliment.

www.nytimes.com/live/2026/04...

Just got a rejection letter for a comedy writing submission and I'm not down. It came with such a great ending that I had to share.

"Every comedian/writer has a folder full of ‘not this time’ messages and we sincerely hope this is not the thing that stops you. Keep writing. We’re rooting for you."

Got some good personal news that feels like an 800 pound weight has been lifted off my head.

And no, removing a 800 pound weight off my head wasn’t the good news.

Dirty Talk: A Sexy Sketch Comedy and Music Experience - Shadowbox Live

Got some really great new sketches in ShadowboxLive's latest show. Someone go see it for me!

shadowboxlive.org/events/dirty...

If there’s one thing I can’t stand in this world, it’s financial apps.

The only thing I can’t stand more (by floating, I guess) is apps that pay out when you’re not ready and they drain your account.

Tech Failures That Were Ahead Of Their Time YouTube video by Joe Scott

More Answers With Joe awesomeness: Tech failures that were ahead of their time (including an infamous one for my fellow video game fans)

youtu.be/4mjjqFoGMoc?...

I just sent the following salutation to someone: "Have a good trip?"

In my defense, they could've been going to Branson.

Million Dollar Idea No. 775: Clue: The Board Game, The Movie, The Board Game, The Movie, The Board Game, The Movie, The Board Game, The Movie, The Board Game, The Movie, The Board Game, The Movie, The Board Game, The Movie, The Board Game

I didn’t get the big gig again. I should just keep this tweet in a holster for future use

The Only Successful Escape From Alcatraz YouTube video by Joe Scott

More Answers with Joe awesomeness: The only successful escape attempt from the notorious Alcatraz

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsd_...

It is…the saddest available table in the world.

Exclusive: Trump on rising gas prices during Iran operation: 'If they rise, they rise' President Donald Trump said on Thursday he was not concerned about rising U.S. gas prices driven by the widening Iran conflict, telling Reuters ​in an exclusive interview that the U.S. military operat...

Here's more of that signature Donald Trump sympathy for the average consumer, which is NONE...

www.reuters.com/business/ene...

CONGRESS declares war.

NOT President tRumpstein.

No one said anything about vomiting. So yes.

I’ve had the kind of bad day that people write whimsical children’s books about only with less government and bureaucratic encroachment.

Trump Reportedly Mulling Plan to Declare ‘National Emergency’ Paving Way for Major Power Grab The Washington Post reported that activists are working with the White House on an executive order to declare a "national emergency" over America's elections.

This is it, people. If Trump goes down this road and tries to derail an election because he know he’ll lose it and get impeached and removed from office for good, we will lose our democracy forever.

Share if you care about your right to vote.

www.mediaite.com/media/news/t...

The Most Expensive Design Flaw In History YouTube video by Joe Scott

More Answers with Joe awesomeness (kind of): The most expensive design flaw in history.

Here’s a preview: it’s bad. Ever hear of The Takada airbag scandal?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=lBJW...

Got to listen to and meet the great Dale Hansen, which means I now know sports through osmosis.

Lost in the Halftime Controversy Is One Undeniable Truth: Kid Rock SUCKS Kid Rock is treated as a MAGA cultural avatar, but strip away the cosplay and you’re left with a rich suburban kid selling grievance, noise, and fake rebellion.

I've been saying Kid Rock sucks for years. This makes me a trendsetter.

www.mediaite.com/opinion/lost...

Bloodbath at WaPo as Paper Cuts Staff, Sports Dept. The Washington Post is to be gutted by leadership, including its sports department, as the paper cuts about 300 jobs in a dark day for journalism.

How do you have a newspaper without a sports section? Is there a billionaire who can explain this to me?

www.mediaite.com/media/news/c...