"The world is COMPLICATED and so we need to trust the important grownups to look after us! btw can i also reassure you that i am a very skeptical and measured kind of guy, like Andy McNab"

haha. i love these guys. it's complicated! we might need to call james bond!

the makers of "Angostura Bitters" realised that most people only ever buy the stuff once and it then lasts them the rest of their adult life ... so they deliberately designed the top to waste a few drops by jizzing them out sideways as soon as you tip the bottle

Nobody

Absolutely nobody

Roadrunner:

Yes I will ask, just in case, but I think that would cross the line.

Told her to text you but she is mainly weeping about homework

She wishes to know if they are for sale :)

i think some of them are big enough that smelling them would be unavoidable. i am hoping they smell of post offices and sheds

if i went to the national museum of computing, do you think i would be allowed to sniff the computers

def showing P this :)

mine kept telling me to drink water and i dunno whether this was just it having a bit of fun or if it had somehow detected that i was very, very dry

bollock :)

Long ago, a cat died from being fed four minutes past feeding time. Cats have told their children of this for 3,000 generations.

this feels synchronous with my recent name change bsky.app/profile/span...

btw recently had a v fun Good win when i was puzzmaster and sat next to an empath with a 2 so guessed them puzzdrunk. got a demon name. boomdandy execution about 3 mins later. said my demon name. won the game. all on day1 :)

morning everyone! who remembers winter? what was that all about??

wow that's the exact same face that Pooky pulls when I sing my big hit: "Pooky Snacks For Pooky Cats"

Trump Warns Iran To Accept His Ultimatum Or Face Wrath Of Next Ultimatum WASHINGTON—Threatening to continue issuing threats if the Islamic Republic did not quickly agree to his demands, President Donald Trump warned Iran on Monday to accept his ultimatum or face the wrath ...

“Lay down your weapons now or I will have no choice but to ask you to lay down your weapons later,” the commander in chief wrote on Truth Social

reminded again of that podcast vid of Ian Dunt explaining how some (blinkered / emotional / silly) people used the word "genocide" re: gaza as "a kind of membership badge". i actually downloaded a copy of it in case they deleted it. which of course they haven't because they are not ashamed of it

The simpsons meme with Principal Skinner. Captions altered to read "Am I out of touch? No, it's the electorate who are wrong."

good luck holding onto that seat

Pleased to report that, after a very long dry spell, those nerds at the National Cyber Security Centre have finally “discovered some ass”

This dog brings his “BFF toy of the day” to every meal
Like… he won’t eat unless his bestie is sitting with him.

i told a few a few friends "these are tories and they are ensuring Lab can never elect another left-wing leader. that's why if you're not Tory, support Corbyn. cos you won't get another go". and if i was wrong about this it's because i underestimated just how corrupt and awful these people are

finding the word "putinist" on someone's timeline is a 100% reliable indicator that they are a total dipshit

i was raised catholic and was well into my teens before i realised that "pontius" wasn't an adjective. not even sure what i thought it meant. probably something like "prone to doing bad stuff but pulling a sad face to suggest you'd rather not"

"Happy Eapter!" yelled Robert Jenrick. "Monday Thursday is here!" he screeched. "GREAT FRIDAY!" the man vomited while rolling in his own feces.

Pic of 4 white dogs wearing red bandanas and a white cat with same looking grouchy Text: when you're forced to be in the family photo

#caturday

Ah yes we also get these kind of lies

It’s alright for her, she’s planning to sleep the rest of the day

the cat has woken me up and demanded tummy rubs at 4am... and yet she is so sweet and woolly that i have woken up and am rubbing her tummy at 4am

As Trump's war spins out of control, here is a piece from me on why the only way to understand the U.S. is to see it as a corrupt and capricious dictatorship

Sad to see Nick falling prey to the virus of anti-Americanism, yet another liberal betrayal of the suffering people of wherever it is they’re bombing this week