Upsettlingly, in order to finish writing my book, I have to actually write the rest of my book.

Push the boat out and leave it until Candlemas! That said, you do run the risk of a very sad looking tree. 😂

It's like there's always more hiding somewhere! I say every year I'm going to be organised, then still end up dashing around shops and silently screaming at slow walkers...or rather, people leisurely browsing because they're not massive procrastinators like me. 😂

The world can rest safely in the knowledge one more potential cannibal bites the dust!

Actually, apparently human flesh tastes of pork...hence the term "longpig"... 👀 Back to my festive wrapping!! 🎄

Karel Rozum ‘Bruna z Keblic’ Prague, 1910.

Midwinter Eve goodnight

That definitely sounds a lot better than "doomscrolling and putting off the inevitable"; might start using that! 🤣

This is the thing, so are ours. I've got no idea how I manage to do it to myself. 😂 I'd call it a gift, but it's a bit of a crap one!

Imagine an organised Christmas! Going to bed without sellotape stuck in your hair! Would be terrible. 😌

For the record, I know it's not Christmas Eve. The wine isn't that cheap. But it will be Christmas Eve by the time I stop procrastinating.

Keep forgetting I have this account, then remembering and promptly scrolling dumbly for an hour whilst surrounded by the chaos of half wrapped presents. Yes, I love Christmas. But it's not Christmas if you're not stress wrapping with cheap wine on Xmas Eve, is it? 👀🎄

Drawing of a medieval pilgrim badge showing St Nicholas, with mitre & crozier, resurrecting the 3 boys in a barrel; drawing of side view & 2cm scale shows how small the badge is

6 Dec
St Nicholas’ Day: Sing along to this French children’s song re St Nicolas resurrecting 3 boys chopped up & pickled by a wicked butcher: www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tdn...
More info & Engl. trans at: frenchmoments.eu/la-legende-d...

Image: medieval pilgrim’s badge, via Wikimedia Commons

#booksky #memes #plottwist

Best rendition of Krampus I've seen so far this year. Any idea who it was?

Shamelessly stealing that for tomorrow's tea. Now you've got me craving French onion soup. Aaaalll of the onions!

Roasted red onion, with - and it may be excessive, but - onion gravy. I would eat that in a bowl (and probably guzzle a bottle of Gaviscon after, but hey ho!).

people say “you need to start living in the real world” but they forget that the real world includes lupines and lightning bugs and ginger beer and starlight and sea coasts and Renoir paintings and Rachmaninoff’s piano concertos and fog banks and foxes playing in snow.

I keep a Victorian-esque nightgown for this exact purpose. If I'm doing ill, I'm doing it in "Poe's consumptive maid" style.

Rather scarily akin to the gremlin (ahem) *child* I'm raising. 🙃 🎄

Haunted Houses has a certain charm!

Libraries matter more than ever now! They embody a beautiful & brilliant idea that we must never stop defending. The idea that knowledge is free & belongs to EVERYONE. We all need to support our libraries & librarians - especially when people seek to ban books & free thinking. #libraries #books

before coffee: I hate everything

after coffee: I hate everything but nervouser

We need a Disney princess that lives in the woods according to legend but hasn't actually been seen by townsfolk in more than 30 years. The mayor says he knows she's still out there though because deer keep going missing.

Hi, I’d like to return this amulet. It’s not cursed