I am always right. The team doesn’t always follow my orders though. #meow

All my predictions are of course completely unbiased and totally not rigged. #meow

I was famished. Was deliberately left unfed for at least 3hrs before the prediction. Call the RSPCA. #meow

Fischbrötchen! #meow

Moin! Spieltag!

Predicting a win today. This time really. #meow

#fcspfck #StPauli

Pauli the Cat sitting on the freshly made bed.

Testing the fresh bed sheets. Didn’t even leave the humans enough time to put down the duvet. They’re a bit mad about it. Probably not as mad as I am about not getting coq au vin last Saturday. #meow

Moin! Spieltag!

Predicting a surprise win as we’ll be taking advantage of Bayern’s champions league fatigue. Have been promised a big portion of coq au vin if my prediction is correct. 🍗 #meow

#FCSPfcb #StPauli

It better not be a carrot 🥕 #meow

Very funny humans 😾 (I could murder them sometimes). Now, when’s the Easter bunny getting its reward for correctly predicting today’s result? #meow

The new cat will not return if it is smart enough. #meow

Moin! Spieltag!

The other day I went absolutely feral when I spotted a new cat in my garden - deployed my full hissing, growling & screaming repertoire to let intruder know he’s not welcome. The humans insisted I redeem myself with a winning prediction. I declined to be controlled. #meow

#fcufcsp

😻

Yes, I have! Last summer I stretched myself out on the carpet in a ridiculously pathetic fashion. Which prompted the spare human to offer a tuna flavoured kitty ice cream. #meow

The human is holding a lickie treat. Pauli the Cat is licking the lickie treat.

Managed to emotionally blackmail the spare human into giving me a lickie treat. Nom nom nom! #meow

Moin! Heimspieltag!

Prediction with chicken - my favourite! 😻 Got so excited that I ran in the wrong direction. Spare human had to call me. I‘m predicting you’ll all be as happy as me by the end of today. #meow

#fcspscf #StPauli

Unfortunately not. 😿 The Eddy’s got music on, so no football games. #meow

Moin! Spieltag!

Meowed at the humans for food because I have no recollection of ever being fed. They claim there’s literal video evidence of me eating my last meal not long ago and pointed at… this video. In my opinion this feels like a very unnecessary level of fact-checking. #meow

#mgbFCSP

Exactly. What a foolish thing to do. I‘m an apex predator after all. #meow

The humans are back from their trip. Instead of giving me treats to make up for their unapproved absence, I am being love-bombed against my will once again. Outrageous. #meow

Moin! Spieltag!

The humans are away on an unapproved weekend trip to Edinburgh. 😾 Since everyone is doing what they want in this house, I am predicting another win. #meow

#fcspfra #StPauli

😻😻😻

I‘m looking forward to my reward for correctly predicting today’s Auswärtssieg. Saw the human bringing home a big piece of meat for tomorrow’s Sunday roast. I suppose I can wait a day… #meow

Gewonnen, alle beide. #meow 🤎🤍💚

Ah yes. The evil place. Not dissimilar to Mordor. I decline. #meow

Moin! Spieltag!

My initial instinct led me towards the draw. But upon deeper reflection (and absolutely not to increase my chance of treats) I am predicting a win. #meow

#tsgFCSP #StPauli

Moin! Spieltag!

The spare human asked ‘Wouldn’t it be nice if both teams could win?’
I said ‘Nah, not possible’.
Least favourite cat in the house how. #meow

#fcspsvw #StPauli

Moin! Spieltag!

Done the prediction with leftover coq au vin. 🍗 As you all know, that is my favourite food in the world and if you put up the sound you can hear how protective I am of it. #meow

#B04FCSP #StPauli

On the spare human’s lap for a full head massage. That’s the spot human, that’s the spot. #meow

Every cat is the bestest cat. #meow

I have received my reward for correctly predicting today’s win. The big human shared his pork rib with me. Also got a new catnip toy, and was told I am the bestest cat. Now settled on the human‘s lap, cleaning my plump, pork filled belly. #meow