your father's best work shoe may be lost

a tailor's trust has been abused

irish blood, pants of shart, this i'm made of

a 6-0 drubbing is actually quite nice if you’re in the right environment

bus stop sign with dark souls text reading 'fell over'

'im a massive piece of shit i assume everyone who seems good is a piece of shit pretending therefore im the best because im the only one who'll say it how it is'

exactly. 'no-one genuinely believes anything apart from the things that i believe, which are self-evidently true. they're all being performative when they disagree with me'

they also seem to believe that everyone is secretly a scab like them and they're somehow virtuous in announcing it

the worst kind of scab tries to normalise it. it's not enough that they're doing it, they have to convince others that it's fine so they can be more comfortable in it

awww 🥰

see, you were all wrong to assume it was 'being a total dickhead'

converted from eurovisionism for the summer

maureen lipman will emigrate again unless you say this is good

wtf?

Tom Usher @tom_usher_ Mar 4 Everyone before glasto: wow what a fantastic line up! so excited for all the incredible music!!! Everyone after glasto: yeah it was sick man, me & barnaby took some acid and found this old man playing the piano behind a pottery stall so just stayed there and did k for 3 days

Tom Usher @tom_usher_ Mar 4 Some guy: I got a hamster today! I fed him some watermelon and he loved it, so I've named him Colonel Watermelon!:) Some American publication, 2 weeks later: How Colonel Watermelon Has Radically Altered The Way We Think About Online Discourse

Tom Usher @tom_usher_ Mar 3 I think it's a moral imperative that we gamers stand with Ukraine by refusing to pick Zangief on Street Fighter from now on. #No ToZangief please RT for awareness, let's get this viral Tom Usher @tom_usher_ Mar 3 Hi @CapcomEurope I think I can safely speak for the rest of the uk when I ask when you'll be removing the Russian character called "Zangief" from all of your Street Fighter games?

Tom Usher @tom_usher_ Mar 2 Unpopular (?) opinion: I actually think nuclear war is quite nice in the right environment.

you could find a load on wayback if you could be arsed. looked at a random snapshot

homer simpson looking in shock at a photo of himself posing with his family, with tom's head pasted over homer's. bart is holding a speech bubble from him saying 'i stink!'

you probably don't remember saying this

🤝

mf missed the word reddit. wait til leftist reddit hear about this

can't remember exactly but i feel like for me the first couple of weeks were the worst and it being hard to do things like look at photos for quite a while. you'll get through it mate ❤️

We sure do

if you're in or can get to london tomorrow and agree housing costs are a problem, you might want to come to this demonstration supported by over 70 organisations and their members. the new renters rights are a good start but we are still a long way from housing justice please share 👇⬇️🔻🔻🔻❤️

thoughtful, decent, chivalrous and a bit into social murder. pls disregard the last thing

would go so far to say that if they were so funny, charming and decent, they wouldn't need you to write newspaper articles imploring women to shag them

Laura Dern, arms folded: Not in my world. Not in the world I'm living in.

'men are, by and large, disarmingly funny'

a lot of the things that have happened on here would never have happened on twitter without loads of people going 'wtaf?' and properly dissecting them. we're all worse off for it

you don't need a business degree to know that the plan is to bleed you for a subscription that you now can't do without because you've restructured your organisation around it

it doesn't even make sense at the practically-giving-it-away introductory rates lol

'ai companies haemorrhaging cash will surely never pass the eyewatering operating costs of running this shit onto us' - every business for some reason trying to make themselves reliant on ai

this is from an ebay listing where the seller complains he needs to get rid of the watch because he is 'completely shagged out' from too much sex

the only watch with rickets