I’ve worked for giant corporations and learned that upper management’s concern for employees was always performative.

The intelligence of the Madison Square crowd wasn’t enough to carry the Knicks to victory.

Cardinals lose

Fuck you clown

Chad absolutely destroyed his two opponents on Wheel Of Fortune. Shut them out, a double Thousand of Shame. Collected $45 grand. Seacrest hates him.

People get really weird when you say listening to an audio book is not reading.

Listening is fine. It's a skill. And it's a great way to consume literature. But saying listening is reading is like saying bicycling is running.

Have an ex who, for the last 14 years, has gotten back at me by throwing kick ass parties and never inviting me.

Republicans choose their targets wisely: trans, immigrants, and unwed mothers don't have money.

But that’s not the point I made. Once prices are raised they don’t go down, is what I said. You didn’t raise your price.

No bigger assholes than American golf fans.

Poe from Star Wars saying “Somehow Palpatine returned.”

Whenever I feel bad about my own writing, I remember this:

Cardinals sweep the Astros

People sure like Porch Fest

the funny thing about Texans and their paranoia about this stuff is that it's so, so clear their terror of Islam is based on projection of their own guilt

it's the quintessential cowboy state (my family is from there, I lived there for years) & they're convinced they're being colonized

Once a business knows you’re willing to pay more for their product, they’ll never roll back. “Passing the savings down to you” is a lie.

Americans have not been at war with Iranians for nearly 50 years. Religious zealots in the US government have hated, feared and wanted to destroy the religious zealots in the Iranian government. And vice versa.

Innocent people die when the religious go to war.

Love how every time I criticise WWE, non wrestling fans enter the chat to tell me how pro wrestling is fake and that they don’t know how people can watch it. Dude, just fuck off with your stupid opinions, no one asked.

Nothing more depressing than going to facebook and experiencing the unconditional love for billionaires.

Man it never even occurs to dogs to give YOU a belly rub.

The Free State of Florida has struck again.

Cardinals beat the Astros again

ESPN is short for ESPN Ruins Everything

Capitalists fear socialism. But instead of trying to win over the public by offering better products for lower prices, they turn to the government to spread fear and impose punishments.

Man, the Cooper Young farmer’s market gets all “streets of Casablanca” once you have a bag of goods in your hand and the other vendors see that you’re a “buyer.”

Two thirds of the Grizzlies season was their fans hoping that they and certain other teams would lose.

Something has to change in the NBA

But the kids love him

“It’s so hard to be a Dodgers fan”— Dodgers fans after the Dodgers fail to win by five runs or more.

The clown who's endlessly charmed by a word he had never heard of before,"groceries," also never of the place they come from.

You get the feeling Fetterman took a bag and is working for another one before his term runs out.

The Super Clown enjoys attacking Americans, as do his own individual supporters who often take the strays but cheer him on anyway.