Same and same who gets first shot

There is absolutely fuck all better than the forbidden afternoon brew

At the summit of Pendle if anyone fancies a scrap xx

So you can ride it on a tightrope while juggling and simply typing that out has made me furious

Don't even get me fucking started on stilts

Nice try but you are clearly my partner's alt account

Been together almost 17 years but my partner has only just discovered that unicycles annoy me and I can't wait to see how they weaponise this new information

That's just because it was getting a bit late in the day at that point but it was rammed otherwise because the weather had been shite for days beforehand

Disappointing 4/10

In this day and age

The initial drop is pretty bad but it's an extremely short distance compared to the unrelenting power of Striding and also much wider at the worst bit so I maintain my stance that she was a contrarian fool

My disgust at the lack of facilities is going on TripAdvisor

There was a woman going down Striding rather than up because she insisted Swirral was steeper and I can only hope she seeks help as a matter of urgency

But wait there's more (wind chill was like -8°c or something)

Disregard that alt text Frank Ullswater is in fact within view

Feisty little thing I'll tell you that much

Was just absolutely delighted throughout tbh

Nobody there wanted one they were all really polite and nice 😞

Absolute fucking banger that loved every second

About to walk along Striding Edge if anyone fancies a scrap xx

Fred again.. and KNEECAP collab when?

The duvet is the guts the cover is the skin I don't make the rules

Well I respect you for telling me sooner rather than later

Of course you should

Ah! Well. Nevertheless,

I also requested a coffin flop at some point so that may help

Screenshot of a signal message between me and my partner. Text reads: You'll just be cake YES FUCK YES DO THAT INSTEAD PLEASE Throw the real me in the trash, that's even more on brand Now

Told my partner that when I go I want to be burned or buried in my Frank Reynolds hospital gown lying face down with my arse out in an open casket

Just apologised to a ladybird for calling it a fucking idiot when it got stuck on its back but then cleverly recovered by briefly opening its wings to push itself back over

This applies to ~100% of the top 1% tbf