"This Whole Thing Smacks Of Jeffrey" i holler as i overturn a brazier at the billionaire party and turn this Eyes Wide Shut into Eyes Wide Shit

"It's over for me, Jeeves. One more slip-up on Mx. Bobbie Wickham's new pronouns, and there's a callout post with my name on it, primed to render me persona non grata everywhere but Roderick Spode's Mastodon instance." "If I might make a suggestion, sir..." "Please. Bertram Wooster the Ally is all ears." "On the matter of they/them pronouns, it may be efficacious to imagine Mx. Wickham as a swarm of bees." "You know, Jeeves, I think I already do."

Hello Tim Cook I worked at Tumblr when you gave us 48 hours to get rid of all the consenting, adult boobs. Up all night at your whim, out of the blue. But you're still cool with Twitter and its CSAM and revenge porn and whatever the fuck this is? Why do you even HAVE guidelines?

magical

Lord Peter Wimsey is the narrative voice of The Waste Land.

They’re really pushing this narrative about the new CEO. If you want to believe women at HC have suddenly done the right thing, sure. But - Walliams’ editor/publisher was a woman, new head of kids dept & head of Corp Comms both women and new CEO all knew about this for 10+ years and did nothing.

Martin Luther, 1517.

the “when all this is over” idea some of them cling to is ridiculous - you’ve re-wired your brain for brief flashes of dopamine from performative cruelty, there is no “over” for you, you’ve robbed your life of joy

My new "shortarse Frankenstein" improves on the cumbersome original by being both easier to build and a lot easier to destroy

Not to be too melodramatic but when he turns his head my life changed.

did not expect the site of Thomas Beckett’s murder to be memorialized in a fashion that is quite so fucking metal

The joke below operates on the logic that the present conditions of life are incapable of sustaining a "Home Alone" scenario. But I would like to clarify that the truth is in fact the opposite: the present mode of life is best understood as a perpetual "Home Alone" scenario. Allow me to explain.

Snickers bar and a metal whistle

Parents, please check your kids’ candy this Halloween. I’ve just found an ancient metal whistle with the inscription “QUIS EST ISTE QUI VENIT" inside a Snickers bar. I blew it and heard a note of infinite distance, and now I’m haunted by a figure in pale, fluttering draperies. Be safe.

They deployed this in only the second episode.

people playing music/videos on their phone speakers in public is more than just mildly annoying and is instead a leading indicator of the decline of community and empath

I'm all for letting people enjoy things, I like plenty of trash myself, but the phrase "the THIRD Harry Potter Draco-Hermione friends-to-enemies fan fic to be turned into a bestselling novel in 2025" is violently disgusting

"You couldn't make The Birth of a Nation nowadays," laments D. W. Griffith, "because it's three hours long, very racist, and I am dead."

Delete your Twitter account.

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harry potter sucks

What is common knowledge in your field but shocks outsiders? The scarecrows are both motile and carnivorous

to see if I still field

It’s a good thing that the UK has all those “women’s rights campaigners” with big financial backing and loads of media and political contacts that I’m sure will be jumping right onto this attack on women’s safety and freedom.

It might happen