It is very important to us that everyone feels represented in the work we do 🫡
Posts by Elysium Office of Disaster Management
As we mark Heterophiliac Visibility Week here at the EODM, our Planning Chief will be appearing on a number of broadcast channels today to discuss some of the specific challenges faced by this marginalised group in disasters, and what we're doing to improve inclusivity in our response and recovery.
We strongly encourage all citizens of Elysium, when considering prostheses such as these, to go with modular and detachable options.
It turns out the structure fires we've been misattributing to a recent wave of arson have actually been caused by cybernetics accidents.
We're excited to announce the latest edition of the Elysium Inter-agency Incident Management System! There are no substantial changes to the framework - we just mixed up the colours of things to keep you all on your toes 🤭
Yes boss 🫡
woag 😖
in a fit of disaster lesbianism i dropped something heavy 😖
i may have gotten flustered by the other women working out near me… and dropped a heavy thing on my foot.
on an unrelated note: please help i think i broke my foot
In a disaster, a population (me) is affected by a hazard (beautiful women). To assess impact (gay panic) we look at what is exposed to the hazard (my gym time) then identify its vulnerabilities (back muscles). Only then can we begin to appreciate the consequences of what has occurred (lesbianism).
With our King Zeus in mourning, is now a good time to upgrade our lightning detection network? #TeamEODM
Please avoid reading this chapter in the bathtub, it can be quite shocking.
WARNING: SHELTER IN PLACE - The Central Plaza - dangerous winds.
We are working to understand the situation, but we believe an intense system of low pressure has formed over the Throne Room. Shelter in place. Tall, black haired, golden eyed butches are advised to avoid the area entirely.
Many thanks to @beedokfern.bsky.social for her capturing of this heartwarming display of leadership, strength, and commitment to the people of Elysium
An illustration showing three figures standing over a table with a futuristic looking map. On the left, pointing at the map, is a young woman in a red windbreaker jacket - very emergency management chic. She has short brown hair and is wearing a cap that matches her jacket. In the middle is Zeus, King of Olympus. She has radiant gold skin, luscious blonde hair, and is wearing a gold button up shirt with her tits out (pretty much). To her right is Hades, dressed in a militaristic black shirt with gold trim, her black hair in a bun.
In times of crisis, sisterhood keeps us together 🫡
We have no records of a thunderstorm then…
Exactly! Our rapid intelligence drones are for situational awareness and absolutely nothing more!
No, we’re not the public-facing clean-up arm of the Krypteia. That is absolutely not the case at all. Why would you even say that?
Many people are ssying this 😵💫
In the event of unexpected tree damage, please contact your local EODM bureau. We will help manage the impact to life and property.
Athena grant me the wisdom to know if Dread Persephone is Hades’ Champion or Hades’s Champion.
I would refer to the Elysian Style Manual, but sadly it has not been updated recently
We are not the workplace health and safety people, but even we recognise the issues with leaving a lot of blood and guts on the floor.
Hazard: slipping
Exposure: you
Vulnerability: your soft and delicate body
Impact: fall over
Consequence: oof ouchy
Elysium is always very safe! However, we at the EODM believe that being prepared for the worst is never a bad idea 🫡
Everyone make sure to update your disaster survival plans…
Weather machine broke. Sorry about intense southerly buster.
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Wearing Sunscreen is important so that your skin stays vibrant and youthful for your lovers' enjoyment! Just remember to slip, slop, slap!
Slip on a shirt
Slop on some sunscreen
Slap on a hat!
It may not be worshippers, but I can confirm there are a lot of Persephone fans/enjoyers/simps in the #EODM bunker
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Crowd control is vitally important, but ultimately the responsibility of the event organisers.
Our advice? Look out for one another, keep an eye on your drinks, have some naloxone (narcan) handy, use sunscreen, and stay hydrated!