Possibly, that makes me a very bad friend.

You know, that friend you kinda outgrow? That used to be fun or reassuring or made you feel like it's going to be ok? But it's all gone now, and you have no clue how to put an end to it but you know you should?... That's what I am to me. I'm so done with me. But maybe I'm scared to be alone.

Everyone wants me to keep going but me.

Apparently reached the
* Just saying 'what the fuck' when I see myself in the mirror * stage of my life..

I think I used to be content recording and solving music problems (finding chords of uncharted songs, rearranging, etc. )

and now I'm just "what's the point".

Feels quite bad.

We were Here (Clogs (+ Sufjan stevens and Shara Nova) cover) YouTube video by Il N'y a Pas d'Orchestre / IHAVENOBAND

youtu.be/1xSckzFv-3w
tried a new thingie,
it sounds acceptable..(?)
hope I won't hate it tomorrow.

Picture of a window frame in which a crude wooden apparatus is installed and serves as a frame for a mosquito net. The outside view is edited out for privacy reasons.

🥳yay, after a few meltdowns over failing plans and giving up may too many times, I finally found it in me to build my mosquito net, it's not much but I felt some accomplishment there... and maybe I'll have slightly fresher nights.. here's hoping.

is it? I couldn't tell,
that's prettyyyyy

Dream - ROAR (cover) YouTube video by Il N'y a Pas d'Orchestre / IHAVENOBAND

www.youtube.com/watch?v=-omQ...
did a thing again,
it's difficult to trust my ears nowadays..

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hey, it's I need to be dead o'clock

so I need to be dead 23 years ago..?!

why do I keep waking up..?

yayy,
I can do things \o/
my room's door wasn't staying closed, it's been months actually so I just resorted to putting a weight against it, but today I found it in me to put my bricolo pants and I fixed it c:

sometimes it's the little things.. hm.

(also I ordered a mosquito net for my window c:)

I definitely shouldn't

idk why I'm still here

What's new on the radio (Mouthwashing OST cover) YouTube video by Il N'y a Pas d'Orchestre / IHAVENOBAND

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADdm...

idk, here's a little noise in all this quiet

hm.. musicothérapie here I come I guess.

Come what may 🫤

hm.. what browser are y'all using..?
I tried duckduckgo for a week or two and.. it's mildly disappointing but I also don't want to use google anymore..

The Black Heart Procession - A Heart The Size Of A Horse YouTube video by Phil Bebbington

welp, there goes that dream..

www.youtube.com/watch?v=2j81...

lol, yeah, you do that
doofus.

I wonder how life tastes when you never even wanted to be dead..

Goodie, look at the time.. it's already I need to non-exist o'clock again..

Time to sleep..

Birds On A Wire - La Marelle (Amarelinha) - Official Music Video YouTube video by Birds On a Wire

www.youtube.com/watch?v=8c4t...
hope I could hear this one hm..

a concert venue door with a paper taped to it. the paper says "concert dom la nena cancelled"

of course the first concert I'd try and go to see alone in years would be cancelled.. 😔

eww..
forgot abilify made me feel so slugglish and sleepy.. and sickly as well.. the discomfort one can feel when there's some fever brewing..

I kinda hate that now.

Slept more than three quarters of the last day.

I don't think I'll keep the experimentation going.

memes and art actually.

there's a part of me that's annoyed that a lot of tiktok memes that live rent free in my head might become lost medias soon..

We're all leaving ( Her OST cover ) YouTube video by Il N'y a Pas d'Orchestre / IHAVENOBAND

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wa8o...