im not back yet but chitlins

death in the family, going radio silent for the moment

mine would be a shot for shot remake of Jennifer's Body starring cillian murphy as Jennifer i have a vision just run with me here

compiling a comprehensive list of which emojis make sounds and so far ive determined 😜 is a meg thee stallion ahh and 🙃 is the curb your enthusiasm theme

i cant have a goddamn rapport with you sir i beg

i gotta start smoking out back yall idek

HE CAME BACK

!!!!!!!!!

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I really hate to do this, but I got hit in the face with a door at work and my glasses have completely snapped in half and I can't really afford new ones, these were supposed to last 2 years. If anyone could help me out I'd really appreciate it: ko-fi.com/rohanberry/g...

i mean clearly a mistake i can't hold normal conversation cuz im calculating hannibal's daily gas bill

everyone did a terrible job selling me this show yes sure dark romance EVIL WILLY WONKA IS WITHOLDING MEDICAL TREATMENT

officially hyperfixating on hannibal mostly because the murder and manesting's got NOTHING on the medical malpractice what do you meeeeeeean????

like literally all the time it's mortifying

news: 69

me: nice

news: ...thousand people died

me: oh.

one bag every time i move, rarely if ever opened

i just gave this whole rant to a coworker who's never watched and he literally said "holy shit" out loud like from a dmv perspective this is madness

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A male zebra finch on a perch, leaning towards and looking at the camera.

Beep is checking in to make sure you aren’t doom scrolling 🐥🫵

no part of this is a bit by the way i have truly just deleted people's numbers when they tell me they're moving to NoVa and id do it again!

every procedural show thinks the dmv is 2 inches across bro these people spend fully six hours a day driving from one set piece to another i would sooner drive to actual hell

hour and a half when will dramatically flees quantico to wash up like a mangy feral cat on hannibal's doorstep at 3 in the morning no god could compel me

"maybe they aren't taking the toll road" im premising this on them not actively microdosing panic disorders which, to be fair, might be silly in this case

you're telling me these guys are taking 495 past the city $10 tolls round trip every damn day to have fraught sexual tension in each other's houses??? that commute would turn me INTO a serial killer

the most unrealistic part of hannibal is that will lives in ducking WOLF TRAP and count spatula's in baltimore there are meaningful lifelong friendships i've fully ended once someone moved over the bridge aint no way

CEASSELESS WATCHER TURN YOUR GAZE UPON THIS WRETCHED THING

unsuspecting rando: what IS your secret ingredient dr. lecter? truffle oil? saffron?

hannibal, distracted by planning how step 257 of Ruin My Patient's Mental Health To Save Our Marriage will go: Kevin

do you ever think hannibal has an intrusive thought while he's trying to think up a cannibal joke and just blurts out what's actually in his soufflé?

i get that everyone's trying to be nice cause he's foreign and maybe autistic but please DO worry about it when his face wipes clean of all emotion as though he's already regarding your grave and finds your epitaph unbearably trite

"who hannibal? the lithuanian nobleman who speaks in ponderous metre with a gaze like a god-ordained famine? yeah no i can't go to his dinner party i forgot to carve up some stakes"

and ignoring the fact he's so so very obviously a murderer No One noticed hannibal's a fucking dracula??