Frog A Little Turned On By Avocado

Frog A Little Turned On By Avocado — theonion.com/frog-a-littl...

It was unwatchable because those two offenses suck. Neutral site conference finals is a horrible idea. And dome football is sterile.

11/18/25 #nokings #LexingtonKY

Entitled Child Expects To Eat Lunch Every Day ALTOONA, PA—Saying the pampered 6-year-old seemed to think someone should provide her with a midday meal on a regular basis, sources told reporters Thursday that local entitled child Harper Wiley expe...

Entitled Child Expects To Eat Lunch Every Day — theonion.com/entitled-chi...

No Kings - Lexington, KY 6/14/25. Proud of my city for the great turnout and enthusiasm. #nokings #LexingtonKY

JD Vance Rushed To Walter Reed After Inner Hillbilly Returns

JD Vance Rushed To Walter Reed After Inner Hillbilly Returns — theonion.com/jd-vance-rus...

Poll Finds Most Americans Would Swap Democracy For $100 Best Buy Gift Card WASHINGTON—According to the results of a new poll released Thursday by the Pew Research Center, the majority of Americans would swap democracy for a $100 Best Buy gift card. “Our research found that 7...

Poll Finds Most Americans Would Swap Democracy For $100 Best Buy Gift Card — theonion.com/poll-finds-m...

#NoKings #LexingtonKY

Parents Gently Explain To Child That Their Money In Heaven Now HUNTSVILLE, AL—In an effort to comfort the child by telling her the funds had gone to a far better place, local parents Blake and Allison McKee gently explained to their daughter Friday that their mon...

theonion.com/parents-gent...

#handsoff Lexington, KY

Teen Warned Not To Accept Group Chat Invites From National Security Advisors She Doesn’t Know

Teen Warned Not To Accept Group Chat Invites From National Security Advisors She Doesn’t Know — theonion.com/teen-warned-...

DOJ Designates Posting Photos Of Balding Elon Musk As Domestic Terrorism WASHINGTON—Warning that the charge carried a five-year mandatory minimum sentence, the U.S. Department of Justice declared Friday that the distribution of images featuring a balding Elon Musk constitu...

DOJ Designates Posting Photos Of Balding Elon Musk As Domestic Terrorism  — theonion.com/doj-designat...