The lord works in mysterious ways. 🤣

Joke's on Kansas. With the spike in gas prices, cis people aren't going to be able to drive either.

What’s great about Bill Maher is you know even if the joke made at his expense is relatively mild it’s all he’s going to be thinking about for six straight months. His summer is already ruined.

I bet RFK Jr's brain worm can pronounce acetaminophen.

what a humiliating way for don jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.

bsky.app/profile/tami...

Gotta hand it to the artist.

Before anyone comes for me for evoking a name from that series by *that* author, I read the books 20 years ago. No support for TERFS these days.

Gentle reminder, Dumbledore's hand also turned black and it's because he was secretly dying.

Maybe someone should rename assault rifles after women's reproductive organs or The Diary of Anne Frank so U.S. lawmakers will actually do something.

Speaking of Christians weaponizing martyrdom to control children, watch season 2 of Shiny Happy People. It was gross when they did it with Columbine and it's gross now.

Why is this the greatest thing I'll see all week? 😂

Her namesake is Phoebe Buffay (we call her Pheebs and Phoebe Floofay) as she also grew up on the streets. She's a little L.A. rescue and she got a bit of a glow-up after we adopted her.

The only one having a worse day than Andy Byron is all the other Andy Byrons.

My thoughts and prayers are with the entire Sesame Street social media team. It's going to be a long night.

I feel for Elmo. Last fall, my account over at The Bad Place™️ was hacked by the followers of a little alt-right bitch boy white nationalist. We've all been there. Hang in there, little red buddy.

Also them: "Was Dobby's sock actually a green card?"

Oh my god, what have I done?

Them: "You're an immigrant, Harry"

Update: They just asked me if he's friends with LucICE Malfoy.

I just called Stephen Miller "Lord Voldeport" and I don't think my 15-year old is ever going to speak to me again.

I'd like to apologize for my earlier post comparing Donald Trump to a pigeon.

I went down a small rabbit hole and discovered that pigeons are loyal creatures, especially to their mates and offspring. It was a deeply unfair assessment and I regret any harm I may have caused.

But on the other hand, Kamala had a weird laugh.

I'm just saying, maybe giving the nuclear codes to a narcissist with the impulse control of a pigeon was a bad idea.

I don't even live in the U.S. and I'll fucking riot if Adriana Smith's family is charged a cent related to any costs of medical procedures and care they didn't have the choice to consent to.

So many photos being shared of Air Force One landing in #yyc, and all I need to know is if a single one of you threw up a salty salute and yelled "SEE YOU IN HELL, FUCKFACE" in that general direction.

It’s bleak out there, but it’s heartening to know millions of people from all walks of life took the time to ruin one specific persons birthday, America’s hater spirit remains strong

The Canadian fighters with no border issues showed up and I love this.

In the wake of the tragic news out of Minnesota this morning, the only decent decision is for Trump to postpone his circle-jerk parade, but given his track record of decency, my expectations are as low as his approval rating.

GET OUT OF OUR CITY