I went out for BBQ and the waitress asked if I wanted "bone in".
I said "Whoa... I just want some ribs."

#fyp #fypシ #foryourpage #comedy #theoneandonlychops #funniestmoments #genderreveal #tender TikTok video by Chops MacConnie

www.tiktok.com/t/ZTjce8oBH/

Here's hoping I don't run into any vampires today.
Fingers crossed...

I'm hoping to get over to see you this year.

The only natural enemy of the Care Bear?
The I-Don't-Give-A-Fuck Duck

Feel free to share...

My old boss sent me 144 emails and I ignored all of them.
He fired me for gross negligence.

I went out on a booze cruise and apparently I got a little crazy and violated the rules.
The captain took me to the rear of the boat and gave me a stern lecture.

My friend is trying to get pregnant by a sperm donor.
She hasn't had much luck, but I'm pulling for her.

I had to report to H.R. this morning regarding something I inappropriately did during a meeting.
I think I misunderstood the meaning of debriefing.

I like to listen to reggae music about Rastafari, but sometimes the singing is repetitive.
They seem to babble on...

Is this real? Who knows?

Chops' What The Duck? Reggae Reggae Flatbread Pizza
Red D'Anjou pears and Moulard Duck Bacon on a Reggae Reggae Sauced flatbread smothered with Asadero, Provolone, & Australian cheddar.

Once Upon A Child is an interesting name for a children's used clothing store.
It's a terrible answer to the question "Have you ever vomited in public?".

I have an obsession with getting the brakes on my car changed every week.
Some of my friends say it's an addiction, but I can stop anytime I want.

Once during a mild earthquake, I mistakenly took a Viagra instead of a sleeping pill.
I was up all night with the shakes.

After years of having a dream to be a published author, I did my first book signing yesterday.
I mean, the police called it graffiti and the library banned me, but I had fun.

I had to apologize to my friend who lives in the greater Manchester area in the UK.
I mistakenly assumed he was into drag because he told me he had a Wigan address.

I was very tired when I got home from work so I thought I'd get some Ben & Jerry's and watch Netflix in my room.
Twenty minutes went by before I realized I was looking at my bedroom mirror and not a documentary about a guy with a huge penis who likes ice cream.

Superman was at a bar drowning his sorrows when the bartender asked why he was so glum. He told him "I got caught cheating on Lois by sleeping with her sister Lucy."
The bartender responded with "Dude, you need to stay in your own Lane."

@phlaimeaux.bsky.social I've been a big fan of your comedy for years. There was someone you reminded me of, but I couldn't remember until this morning. A bear character from a Woody Woodpecker cartoon I loved as a kid.

My accountant has had a very expensive bout with constipation.
He tried to work it out with a pen, but couldn't budget.

I've invented a new razor for dyslexic people.
It's the best thing since sliced beard.

My boss was angry that I drank three strong malty German beers during my break.
Has no one ever heard of a Bocks lunch?

I once had a girlfriend who said "Sex is always better when you're on vacation.".
That was the worst postcard I'd ever gotten.