A juniper tree in the crepuscular doing an arabesque against the broody Atlantic

Every day is Earth Day, dumbass

That certainly changes things

Not to be dramatic, but my dog has a lil mushroom shaped nose w a round onion head & it’s just so fuckin cute sometimes it makes me wanna punch myself in the face till I spit out puddles of teeth. I can’t stand it!

You know what, I hope both sides of your pillow are always cold

You guys go on and keep reaching for the stars. I’ll just stay here and have an egg.

There's like five minutes before my hash browns are ready. I'mma need you to take that negativity wayyy over there

People are walking around everyday hanging on by a thread. Be kind or shut the fuck up.

Miss Maggie the Yellow Lab stretched out and sleeping soundly on a bed, partially tucked under a teal-and-white patterned quilt

Best bed hog there ever was

At the punk show clapping politely and hoping no one spills my $10 beer

bluesky: the nothing app

Oh nothing. Just hanging out with my books.

Cheese doesn’t have anxiety because it knows everything will Brie all right

Got my blinders on like an old jade horse pulling an ice wagon.

Hang on, just let me eat these gummy bears that are the same as eating a salad.

Coleslaw calzone, is this a thing yet

real followers this, real followers that what about the real flavor of la croix

life is pretty deep man i cant believe we didnt get lifejackets

im taking these art classes because i should be able to draw my own conclusions

If size doesn’t matter why is small talk so insufferable?

911 is too hard to remember. we should change it to something easier (867-5309)

In another world we say "in this world" to refer to that world only because we don't need to imagine any others. Or maybe we don't even say world we just grunt out for big perfect circle like panoramaaagh

It's spring which means it's time to clear out your old ear hairs to allow for new growth.

I’m so diy that my pet rock is a kidney stone

Love kids cause they’ll be like “we’re opening a business, we got mommy long legs for 2,000 dollars” & it’s like ah yes thank god, almost 4got I needed that. Lemme go broke for a mommy long legs

I gotta place for you to plant your two lips

I’ve found gardening & feeding wildlife is good for the soul cause it really keeps you away from things like manslaughter

Maybe a priest in a parking lot might judge you 4 blasting River Runs Red by Life of Agony, but God wouldn’t—cause God wants you to come as you are, & God likes songs that go hard

😚

😁

😊