I wish I could have done more for Zanny's bday but this personal project is kinda taking too much of my brain.
My bday is in 20 FUCKING DAYS yet I have to start locking in till the 18th.... (Schedule conflicts go brr)
Having another episode of questioning my sexuality AAAAA
Giving myself a pat on the back, I think the colored lineart makes my art less lifeless and I love it. Black lines are still nice, prob gonna make the colored lines my main style now.
I swear this incubus has corrupted me. The difference between arts is funnily BAFFLING LMAO
April fools ruined
Did a heavy financial mistake that affected my credit fees and I almost didnt enter the house after returning from gym.
Life sure loves playing pranks with me เฒฅโ โฟโ เฒฅ
Writing down the things that I need money for and... Im starting to hate being unemployed AUGH (Been job hunting for ages it is just hard to be accepted)
I have to lock in for commissions and adoptables....
But in times like these makes me think that I am not fully an adult yet, and that is fine. Accountability can be scary when you are not good with words, but it is something that will help you A LOT. Also being mentally unwell is not free key to be an abuser (I fear that I became one maybe..)
LRP Being one of those people who cannot afford therapy yet, this is like a slap in the face but for motives of discipline. I consider myself healing from traumas, but it took me a while to realize no one is gonna baby me when I'm repeating the same behaviors as my bullies. I know I'm a grown adult
Sincerely, an angry bitch ๐ โจ๐
I hate that I'm slowly becoming a "damaged becomes the damage" person, making the same mistakes again is labeling myself as a bad person and I hate it.
Getting no emotional support and feeling excluded from groups is making my mind shatter.
Never thought getting blocked by people I looked up to would get me so much....
Okay it didnt show when I changed languages I forgot to do that
Welcome to UK 2.0 I guess
Goddamnit-
Been having major anxiety over the real world and personal struggles, being less online helps but I need more coping mechanisms because even offline I can be distressed of reality...
This makes me dread for VGen despite them being Canadian centric, because of the banks..
It's getting harder to be an artist nowadays, bruh.
Most of my art do not fit those criteria (except for the anthro), but this is still baffling
Gotta love my country pulling a UK/Australia when it comes to age verification..
Also, follow boundaries, these are cool ๐
Reading a doc from Tumblr and.. I can't believe there are grown ups having the audacity to use minors for their desires or traps..
Talking to minors gives me anxiety so seeing the doc repulsed me a bit. If someone left you, just don't go to a minor to vent to them about how you felt about that.
Ugh, period started today.
On one hand, the last time I had it was in October so it is a win. On the other hand, ow my body... I might get moody idk
*I, not U
Being less online has been helping me process my traumas. I still wish U was able to find help but for now, I just want to be heard
Been having anxiety episodes that are affecting my breath. Man, apologizing is easy but the problem are the reactions ๐ฅฒ
FUCK I just noticed Heather's apron looks empty without the details on the sides AUGH
Hopefully I can add them on the future official ref sheet
No bad blood towards anyone (Other than the company for obvious reasons), I kinda want to have my account focus on my own things instead!
Someone has to create another feed for that company, but Im done with creating feeds unrelated to my brand
I spent the weekend offline and, as much as painful it was, it kinda helped me a bit.
Being constantly online while struggling with anxiety is not a good idea, note to self ๐
