‘oh weed is evil weed is the devil weed is gonna make you a jobless dangerous addict weed is-‘

brother weed is the reason I’m singing along to garth brooks in bed rn while I take hoe pics because I’m looking at myself with kinder eyes for once in like 30 years rather than planning my own exit dude

no you see I need to model the store bought, lesser-quality, suboptimal jock and then yours sir by side so people can go wOoOoOoOoOow

I mean MCE has a definitely camo patterned jock

happy holidays, or something.

Having no real online friends I routinely message with is terrible when I take the best ass pic of my career at 145 in the morning and have no one to send it to 💀💀💀

how can I be expected to stick myself out there and gain self confidence and maybe date more people when legit the first three people on tinder just now in Boston all had fucking MASTERS DEGREES AND HAD WORKOUT PICS FOR THEIR FIRST PHOTO

like how do I ever possibly begin to compete with that lol

I’d be such a harlot if I had just a little more self confidence

im like half baked and half hard and VERY horny rn tbh

I was always really confused about the explosion of really random community notes on twitter posts until I found out that having a community note on a post makes it ineligible for monetization and then I just got even more depressed

Not 42069?

also new profile pic heyyyy

If you’re wondering, I’m built like this 😈😈😈

Oh my god, YouTube premium is so worth it

Was watching a video on YT when the creator did a sponsored post skit, and I went to nudge my controller to scrub to the end of the ad

And YT Premium automatically “skipped you (me) to commonly skipped-to location” instead of me scrubbing through manually

Life’s too short to not fuck your friends

That being said

👀👀👀

I feel like one of the violinists on the titanic, leaning against the railing smoking a cigarette while the boat is actively sinking

lord I’m tired tonight

So I made an AD account on here for myself (and no, you can’t)

And despite being two separate accounts shared on this device, going thru normal account setup for the new account appears to have semi-reset my algorithm on this account

And I hate it lol. I gotta teach it so much

If you’re wondering how many 🍃hits🍃 it takes to take away the sting of some disappointing (but not altogether surprising) news,

It’s three.

Three hits.

Ah. Ah. Ahhhhh. 🧛‍♂️

ugh biiiiiiiig mood right now 🥺

A firm haver of the opinion that I’d legitimately be halfway dangerous if I could actually focus my brainwaves and abilities

But alas, god had to nerf me so he wouldn’t have to do paperwork

aw fuck

that’s the sun

I stayed up gooning too late 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

Now im falling asleep
And shes calling a cab
While he’s having a smoke
And she’s taking a drag
Now they're goin' to bed
and my stomach is sick
And it's all in my head
but she’s touching his

Chest now
He takes off her dress now
Let me go
And I just cant look, it's killing me
And taking control

Screenshot of a discord user in the interface that shows that they’re listening to Morgan Wallen.

damnit discord you fuckin tattletale

Honestly I always used to give gooning a lotta shit. Like. I never understood how someone could be that brainwashed and robotic and cartoonish

That being said, having smoked and edged for like five hours last night with my slick cock in my hand…..I kinda get it now. lol

hello hi yes I’m available

idk, is this something yall like

Photo of a car stereo screen displaying the song currently playing, Dixon Dallas’ song “Beggin’ For More”

this song goes way too hard in my little corolla than it has any right to #dixondallas

and don’t get me started on the happy trail leading down to the perfect area framed by lace….😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

now that’s what I call phone-wallpaper-worthy omg

they just frame that ass ✨PERFECTLY✨ 🥵🥵🥵

omg happy birthdayyy!!!! you deserve to be worshipped from head to toe 😍😍😍