think he the hamburglar. wow, flyboy here really think he the hamburglar. *watching news with parents* I think the thing is, he really think he the hamburglar *honking horn* what’s your PROBLEM buddy you think you the HAMBURGLAR?

Tweet: sam levinson think he Ryan Murphy, Ryan Murphy think he John waters, John waters think he the hamburglar

I feel like some people don’t know the source

Emerald Fennell think she Sofia Coppola, Sofia Coppola think she Francis Ford Coppola, Francis Ford Coppola think he the Hamburglar

women say they don't want a tom and jerry brained man but then pick the guy who literally flattens himself under a door to get into the club. ok

r2d2 whistling aggressively as it spins around and shows off its enormous new breast implants

Replies you get when a post makes it to Discover: This reminds me of a poem my father wrote. Mind you, he wasn’t a good poet and was an even worse father. But he was possessed of a certain rustic perspicacity. Actually, I’m more like him than I like to admit. We both like brunettes DDD and above.

Mamdani: As my first order of business, we are bringing back twee. This is a millennial city now

ME: team rocket will never steal these rare Pokémon! Not unless they wanna take on me and my fully evolved Miss Cigarettes!
MISS CIGARETTES: miss cigarettes

If you type something that even vaguely looks like a link while you’re composing - like ha dot to - it attaches a link to the post, even if you then delete the typo. Nobody click on the link! Or you can delete it if you want

Blippo+ shows top 5

1. BUSHWALKER
2. Quizzards
3. Boredome
4. Wake Up, Universe!
5. Clone Trois

Special mention to Do You Party? canceled and taken off the air far too early

was it A Thing? maybe. But UBIQUITOUS to the point that you couldn’t take a picture of a cat in a bodega without knocking over a display of hot honey sauce? c’mon. they think we’re oblivious rubes

TEN YEARS?! grow up. Enda Kenny was not presiding over a hot honey nation. I was not spending COVID lockdown pining for a spicy sweet buzzy dip. This is gaslighting

I’ve been eating a lot of apples recently specifically honeycrunch apples so I google them to find out more about them and there’s an article telling me I should have been eating these apples 5 years ago and actually they suck now and that’s what going on the internet is about

Hell yes

The box for Perfect Dark on the N64 released in Japan. A woman in a short dress leans over the side of a couch, holding a gun. The room is bathed in red light. There’s a bunch of text in Japanese that I cannot translate because I do not read or speak the language

For Christmas, Sarah got me a copy of the Japan version of Perfect Dark for the N64, entirely because it has hands-down the coolest box art that has ever blessed a video game. I look forward to leaving it in different conspicuous parts of the house to be noticed

Jodie Foster: They should have sent a poet

Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night

Cultivating joy, especially in times of darkness, is vital and a practice you have to work at

defrosting the freezer, passing the time by constructing elaborate revenge fantasies about the man who must have broken into my house last night and left it open

the weird two-year stretch in which i was older than every nfl quarterback is finally over. hopefully that will never happen again

Screenshot of tweet from account picardie_aurora me: sometimes life feels so hopeless, just endless routine with nothing at the end my classmate Honoré: what's your bonbon count today? me: what? zero. Honoré [ popping bonbon ] hmmm

Me: God, what is the point of life?

God: You know how they’ll make a dog toy look like a mustard bottle or something, and it’s purely for the human’s benefit and the dog’s like buhhhh whuhhh. Well you’re the dog, and I love mustard, baby.

GIORGIO MORODER: but I knew we needed a click, so we put a click on the 24-track which was then synced to the Moog modular
MY 1-YEAR OLD CHILD: How relaxing. I will now sleep for approximately 10 hours

The baby simply can’t get enough of falling asleep to Random Access Memories by Daft Punk

Shredded cheese. Why do Americans have to make everything so violent

yeah I like playstation 2. Playstation 2 the polls

That was Elon in those streams including yesterday. Not falling for this

honking on bobo while my man plays 2k. oh you thought i meant my man's bobo?????? fohhhhhhhhh

A pink sticky note with an intentionally crude pen and ink doodle of Weaver the very fluffy collie mix in a sloppy sit with her tongue lolling out to one side.

The ideal gamer form. Beautiful ridiculous creature.

they call her ms. 100%. the platinum hound