it’s not like we aren’t there to do the raid, you know?

not ‘israel got america into a war with iran’ and not ‘no it didn’t’ but ‘israel is like leroy jenkins’

counterpoint: the party’s hostility to israel is too little

gigachad michael knowles

whoa, what’s that about

actually, the autocorrect is fine. my latest for slate

i like the color too. so whimsical

A screenshot of a text from Amazon. Amazon: Your package was delivered! (attached is a picture of a box with a piece of paper that reads DO NOT GO OUTSIDE) The receiver sends a question mark as a response. Amazon sends another picture with the same piece of paper on the box, but the words are covered in blood along with the message "JUST KIDDING :)" in blood.

alright

later today trump will pay respect to his american christian followers by reading from their holiest text, the alabama age of consent statute

"Just making you aware that US President Trump has begun posting" goes out over the BBG macro squawk and with that the madness kicks off for another day.

this fucking guy. like i don’t have enough problems

the idea of michael knowles as the most cis man is desperately funny

okay not tomatoes got it

i’m still not sure what i’m looking at so i get you

real

you were in the military? no wonder you’re such a piece of shit

they do not in any sense risk their lives to protect us

your average citizen would’ve been inside that house in 30 seconds, but cops are the most cowardly of us

thank god in an hour all the clocks will strike 12 returning my mufos to the normal amount of high

house cocktail: little brown bat 1 oz żubrówka 1 oz dolin génépy 1 oz mr black coffee liqueur 1 oz lemon juice garnish with lemon twist

we are so bat

our fascist president has become so incoherent that even the liberal media is beginning to notice

quarter mil and a lifetime paid bar tab or i walk, but otherwise yeah i like copenhagen a lot

SMOCKIN

do you guys think i can get blocked by the ‘have the day you elected’ bot

we should all be more like this

god what a perfect post

horseshoe theory is real. leftists almost got kat abughazaleh elected into congress and now it comes out that her boyfriend owns infowars…

i want to really dig into my initial reaction at some point because i feel like it’s pretty complex, but for me in part it’s like: some drinks are home drinks, like bottled or canned beer, or whisk(e)y neat

okay, i’m sensing the show is over. BUT BATS ARE BACK BABY

‘snow do you actually know anything about the bats you’ve been watching all these years’ they’re puppies with wings and they do tricks, i’m here to watch not to learn