we're passing through mountains so there's a lot of tunnels and the train goes out of one tunnel and into another one after 10 seconds so i only get a peek at the outside
it's pretty silly

sleepy

i'd actually read more about this if i wasn't on my phone just out of the shower, but what i should be doing is putting on my pyjamas and going to bed so i'll do that

> Wikipedia's concept of love is too modern [...]
hm

also it's fucking hilarious that the one time i stop caring and actually call my mom in the middle of the night to bother her is when she's out of cell service

yeah ok fuck it this place is a shithole, when i wake up i'm taking the next train out and never coming back (unless it's just for a day or two but also probably not even then)

was watching some anime and the episode finished and i was left with absolutely nothing
i don't have anything i care about right now except probably work and it's sunday so i am not working

i want to die or to run away or something like that, i don't have any other thoughts at all right now

okay i set up a ceph cluster, that was pretty easy, just need to figure out how pools work now
github.com/TheJJ/ceph-c... is pretty nice

it didn't have any more feet to stand on so it fell

i wasn't sure whether to post this, it feels much more serious than what i usually talk about... the only reason i consider myself okay is because i have a job but lately i've been struggling to get anything done so it feels like i'm failing at job too

was scrolling through twitter and read a thread about hikkikomori that mildly scared me, about how when there's nobody to care for them anymore they don't just start doing it themselves
i'm probably not at that point yet but mom's behaviour is very pushing it towards that sort of thing so who knows

❄️ got hungry right as we were falling asleep. i ate some cookies and remembered we hadn't brushed out teeth yet; it would've been a good opportunity to do that had we not forgotten to pack our toothbrush last night
well, i'm thankful we didn't forget to pack more important things, at least.

❄️ made a minor blunder by unplugging the light in our room to use a different one, not realising it would be too dark to see the plug afterwards

🌸 i remember going to sleep last night and then the credits of this episode and basically nothing else in between
(well, technically i remember some of last night but not specifically going to sleep, but that's not the point)

❄️ dissociating all day and then watching needy girl sure is an experience

well the monitor we brought here broke and we use a cursed resolution that is impossible to find anywhere with reasonable shipping times, so i guess we'll just suffer for the next week

they put luluttolilly directly on youtube??

guess i'll try not to think about anything too hard today

well for now i'll go brush my teeth and sleep instead of scrolling through twitter

oh we didn't end up going outside today ugh
uh
rip our mental state like forever i guess

at least the week after next will be nice...

god dammit i lost track of time and apparently we're leaving tomorrow morning and i need to pack and we're going to be in the car for like 5 hours tomorrow and i'm going to go insane and then we're going to be at grandma's place all week which is always awful so uh yeah

okay yeah we absolutely need to go outside today, though more likely later when it's not as hot

...i don't remember writing this, so we were probably not wrong to be concerned, i guess

mildly concerned about my mental state though

i feel like being useless today but i have things to do so i won't

nightmare about alternate timeline me who is a windows sysadmin at some F500

ooh we still have slskd installed, guess i'll also download a few albums