If we’re getting the euphemism, at least throw in a hyphen

There were questions when the phone bill listed charges from 1-800-SPANKME. (Or maybe it was 976?) The first guess was not that the 9-year-old had heard a joke on Home Improvement she (not me) didn’t get

Couldn’t tell ya but that’s not saying much in my case 🫠

Amazing news

Someone “who never drank out of the hose”

Some Russian shit

Over here watching Chernobyl for the fourth time this year lol

I really hope you went down the slide

Until I hit pokopia I thought you were talking about a bougie-ass meal

Cocktail idea: Palestina Libre

Or when people use it to describe just plain shitty, inconsistent, asshole behavior, that only suggests someone is a plain shitty, inconsistent asshole. I burn with the fire of a thousand suns

A black cat lays blissfully and obliviously on a brown couch. She has rear bunny feet with her tail tucked in between, and a shiny coat, with her small patch of old age white fur visible on her chest

Happy Caturday to all who celebrate 🐈‍⬛🐾🐾🐾

59 and rainy didn’t sound so bad

Weather app showing high 59/low 18 on Monday

Meanwhile my iPhone is leading me down the primrose weather path

I’m assuming there’s a sizeable difference between the amount of water required to train it vs that required to, like, use it indefinitely once it is trained

A black cat lays passed out draped over her owner’s blanket-covered leg, her forelegs positioned as if she were Superman flying towards the camera

Hey mine too if you lean on forced perspective

Yeah that one’s on me for reading the alt text

With one of my faves, a side of syntactic ambiguity

[will be asking]

I am feeling very suspicious 🚬

I would like someone to give me a switch 1 shortly thereafter, thank you in advance 😉

En chinguiza! Yeah Chevy Chase is a douche

That’s awesome! Thanks!

Seriously scared when my dad told me about a website he frequents with 1440 in the address until I remembered the bad number would’ve been a few decades later.

It’s just about Gutenberg, not the other thing, but for a good three seconds, I thought decisions would have to be made. Yikes.

Mexican wordplay is an art, much of which goes over my head 🇲🇽

Ideal is sightly, while courteous, e.g. the past couple mornings

Ok I’m that person but when I found out that was her real name 🤯

Found out Dad frequents a website with “1440” in the name and for a hot second thought I might have to cut ties. What a difference a digit makes 😬

This and then a literal physical toll, too, I’m convinced of it. I distinctly remember that when the election was called for Biden, I felt an actual weight come off my shoulders that I didn’t even know was there. Taking it on again is breaking me

Lol too perfect