Woman on train with T-shirt bearing the legend ‘I’m not rude I just have the balls to say what everyone else is thinking’. Reader, she was an utter c**t

Wouldn’t last 5 minutes in the north. Brother Thaddeus is out with his dad apparently

Lunch in London. Next table full of mothers and daughters. Daughters: Hemione, Jonquil, Pixie and Phoenix. Feels like I’m in an episode of Amandaland

On my way home from Ink Festival. Creative life slipping away as I sit on the train and wonder what shit real life (work) is going to hit me with tomorrow.

So today I watched two brilliant actors bring words I had written to life. It’s such a thrill. And the audience laughed at the jokes and were affected by the sad bits. Very happy. Photo: Origin8 photography.

On my way to Suffolk at daft o’clock in the morning for the INK Festival. My play ‘Room 10’ is being performed as part of Pod 5 in The Cut Studio today and tomorrow and as a rehearsed reading on Saturday evening at The Angel Dining Room #InkFestival2026

Watching Salems Lot. Straker (James Mason) is described as 58 and now I feel like I want to die

Has anybody written ‘A Streaker named Desiree’. If not then I have first dibs

@normanrecords.com Is the mystery exclusive baby blue vinyl Come On Pilgrim by Pixies?

Shouldn’t it just be renamed the ‘Popular Music Hall of Fame’ now. I mean Sade are great but Rock n Roll?

He was in Sidney Lumet’s The Pawnbroker when he was 27. Uncredited but definitely a movie

Made a joke 12 hours ago. Zero likes. Zero reposts. Someone made same joke 1 hour ago and you can’t move for the LOLs. I know I’m doing this wrong but not sure how. Maybe I’ll just die.

It’s supposed to be me as a doctor

Robert Powell as Yer Actual Jesus of Nazareth

Robert Powell, pictured during his 2005-2012 stint as a regular on Holby City

So we got through the winter, and it looks like our energy supplier wildly overestimated our usage. And now we head towards summer. But will they give us our money back? No, will they fuck, because we'll need the cushion in winter apparently. Make it make sense.

The Pope being touch on crime

“You can hear an image”

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Residents likening a solar farm to Chernobyl

"I like a bit of a cavort. I don't send 'em solicitor's letters. I apply a bit of.... pressure."

People here talking about the possibility of a nuclear attack tonight. Given the proximity of Iran to Israel I’m pretty sure that’s not going to happen but I’m going to push some music on to try and forget about it

Only one of them remains. And that one has absorbed the memories of the others. They then crash land in London where the surviving astronaut melds with a cactus and attacks Westminster Abbey

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He is risen

Went to see The Drama. What a great film. Don’t read any reviews - particularly Peter Bradshaw, who yet again reveals the main plot point that the movie hinges on in his review. Go in knowing as little as possible. Loved it

Coming soon to Netflix starring Helen Mirren, Celia Imrie and Penelope Wilton.

Booked!

Storm Dave. Finally, a storm whose name we can all get behind

Michael McIntyre, Martin Lewis, Jeremy Vine, Denise Welch

Keir Starmer finally saying something sensible on April Fools Day is my new jam