I love Tetris has been shown to reduce PTSD but if I’m ever going through something and someone tells me to play Tetris, I’m gonna give them some PTSD.

I’ll be there May 15 at the improv!

I sold 1,000 tickets for my Salt Lake City shows on Jan 17-18.

I sold 600 tickets for my Boston shows on Jan 23-25

I’m currently laying in bed wondering if I’ll ever sell another ticket to my comedy shows.

… If you were curious about the status of my mental health.

#impostersyndrome

Poopy caca, peepee caca

United Healthcare reported Q3 Profit of $6.06 BILLION DOLLARS.

Man, I’d fucking die to be the CEO of a company so profitable.

Fun fact: Caterpillar wieners are amongst the least studied subject in academia.

Okay, weird crowd here so far… posted about caterpillar wieners 3 hours ago and no engagement.

I’m warming up

Somewhere in the world is a caterpillar with the biggest caterpillar wiener and it’s sad that he has no idea

Is there anything better than another social media app?