hot pocket
check it and see
internal temperature
of one sixty-three

a lizard with a knife

woo, timeline gettin feisty and I am so here for it

Using Bluesky in the midst of an attempted social media break is known as a skeet day.

Post your favourite Doctor Who.
Wrong answers only.

‘i will avenge you’ i exclaim to the broken shampoo nozzle after the bottle has fallen off the shelf for the dozenth time

paleolithic cheesemongers must have been hella stoked when the wheel was finally invented

Inside a gift shop with various merchandise, including a display of candle cupcakes. A large sign overhead reads, "DO NOT EAT THE CANDLES.”

once i pay it’s mine and you’re not my mom

Peter Jackson, wearing shorts in cold weather and a puffy jacket, modern looking for the time at least, very late 90s. Next to him is Fucking Gandalf the Grey but he's wearing a plain blue baseball hat. Then next to him is Legolas, hands clapped in front of him, wearing a 1999 bandana in that weird white doo rag way white people used to. Those two are definitely dressed from middle earth except for their hats and they are all laughing and gandalf is pointing and out of context it's a little bit hahah what the fuck is happening. They are standing in front of mountains it's just a vibe

Do you even know this band

a skeet so bad, it lowered your credit score

Stacy, your mother and I are in love

A chicken in a metal pot floats on the ocean.

one can eventually tire of simply crossing the road

Goddammit I think I just heard the Jumanji drums.

Welcome to the Bluesky account for Stand Up for Science 2025!

Keep an eye on this space for updates, event information, and ways to get involved. We can't wait to see everyone #standupforscience2025 on March 7th, both in DC and locations nationwide!

#scienceforall #sciencenotsilence

“Here comes the sun.”

- George Harrison, amateur astronomer

a Petfinder screenshot of a domestic short haired young male cat named "feral eggroll'

If the gas pump says to see attendant I won't. I would rather ride a horse.

That is so close to my neck of the woods, and yet this is the first time hearing of the place. I need to get out more…

You can just give someone a Klondike bar. It doesn't have to be a weird power trip.

On my third hour of food preparation videos while I pour myself another bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats

disappointing to learn toyota made more than one highlander

the worst part of waking up is the buffering

Inside our wolf exhibit are two wolves. We are missing one wolf.

Joaquin Phoenix in the Village wearing a weird ugly mustard yellow cloak with a bulbous flat woods monster-esque hood and formless body with little holes for his arms to stick out

Tfw u are level 3 in ffxiv and you haven’t unlocked glams yet

Reminder to everyone who signed up for our bird walk, it’s just a regular hike around the park, but you’re expected to walk like a bird.

Golden Retriever wearing a telephone headset.

“K-911. What’s your emergency?”
“THERE’S A SQUIRREL!”
“Please calm down, sir. Where is it?”
“IN THE TREE ACROSS THE STREET!”
“Have you tried barking at it?”
“OF COURSE!! I’M NOT AN IDIOT!!!”
“Okay, put down the phone and try again now, I’ll stay on the line.”

Pronounces “legume” like “résumé”

if ur not supposed to put ur phone in the toaster they shouldn’t make it fit