to reconcile with your past you should simply be able to travel there

Changed my morning alarm to Cat Hairball. No more snooze!

the main cultural divide in america is between people who appreciate old-school simpsons episodes and people who have never comprehended them

I did not set out to be this annoying.

are the adults in the room with us right now

hot and bothered (bothered that it's too hot)

why do people say 'pun not intended' and not punintentional

Handing my swaddled burrito to the lady next to me:

Ma'am, will you hold my baby while I use the facilities?

i wanna buy a really good hug i do not have a job but i can pay in blood or kohls cash

maybe an entire box of cereal will help. i’ll give it a try and report back

i accidentally bit the part of my tongue that allows me to taste love

I just felt the will slide right out of me in a thick clot of goo.

awww he talks to the computer like a friend and thinks he needs a manifesto

Side profile of Cleo, a fluffy tuxedo cat, sitting on the couch staring intently at a black fluffy pillow

Current situation, Cleo's in love (with the new throw pillows)

"I woke up on the wrong side of the bed"

How? Underneath it? Inside the bed? I am not clear on what is happening here

Proudly showing off all the food stains on my clothes as evidence of a varied diet

strait of hormuz to be renamed schrodinger's strait

all the ai bots love me. they can smell the ram chips in my pocket.

[on a date] some hookworms are becoming drug resistant

look i'm no olympian but one time a random guy on the internet offered to give me one of his teeth, which is not nothin

Why face the music when I can just listen to it.

beset by leafblowers on all sides

so much. it's like a firehose of slurry up in the ol' noggin

this is making me think. it’s like a diuretic for my brain and now i’m just thinking uncontrollably. oh god it's getting everywhere

there should be a “student driver” bumper sticker except it warns everyone about the other parts of your life

Introducing myself to the new neighbors by screaming at sportsball like a lunatic

Both my dispensary and the vape site want me to remember that 4/20 is fast approaching. And honestly? Good call. I can't remember what day it is

I just want to be respected and admired without doing anything important

in the Cars universe, tire pix are the equivalent of human feet pix

I cybernews® Home » News Bluesky under "sophisticated" DDOS attack Published: 17 April 2026

Loving this passive aggressive punctuation