DANE SCARLETT, DAMOLA AJAYI, MIKEY MOORE. PLAY THE FUCKING KIDS.

i'm fine.

god you're going through the depths of apathy about your football team and then a teenage debutant from the academy scores within minutes of coming on and life is beautiful again

imagine being a fan of a football club that wasn't actively trying to kill you

man whose priority is not "happy pundits"

THE STUDIO'S PROBABLY GOING INTO MELTDOWN OVER MY LACK OF TACTICS

ange postecoglou you made me love football again and i will never be able to thank you enough. or forgive you.

Nothing sums up the absurdity of this football club quite like the sight of an 18-year-old midfielder playing out of position at centreback having to talk a 36-year-old ex-international goalkeeper through a total headloss.

if i hadn't watched the game with my own eyes and/or couldn't tell whether or not 4 is a bigger number than 3 i'd think we'd got absolutely slapped listening to this.

i'll review my position after the weekend 😂

"appalling performance from the team that scored four goals and won the match, the manager had better be prepared to prostrate himself and/or roast the players after that embarrassing shambles" oh fuck off literally everybody at sky sports

i mean there are fairly obvious reasons why i wouldn't prefer that, but also i can't take either losing to Them Lot Down The Road or another final against you guys. at least it'd be exciting?

from memory, it's much more fun to observe from the outside.

nobody wants this much chaos.

god why would anybody be a tottenham fan

gary neville i am outside your house you annoying little man

(for legal reasons this is untrue and i am in london with no intention of moving)

why are the good games always on tnt

whatever happens today happens. go with god fellas.

i have experienced octopus, honey and mayonnaise pizza from dominos taiwan so like. i'm distressed, but only proportionately.

oh this makes me worry about your credentials on the mushroom thing i fear. but no, class solidarity. for the mushrooms. chicken and peppers do not in my opinion belong on pizza but only specifically on my pizza. the base is a blank canvas go nuts.

i'm a ham, mushroom and olive person but if i'm forced to pick one of the three it's mushrooms all the way. pepperoni probably the strongest solo topping though?

**yes** (imagine this in bold.)

i mean i think wanting an experienced driver is highly sensible but the anticipated benefits will simply not be provided by the man who famously had so little technical literacy and such a limited ability to adapt his style around a difficult car at mclaren that it ended his meaningful career

"nothing against danny ric" brigade is out. couldn't be me. something against danny ric. lots of things against danny ric. for example: he doesn't have it anymore, and he's not that funny.

"oh they need an experienced driver for the feedback" oh? and mr pure instinct over there is the guy for that?

respectfully, for the LOVE of GOD. can we not.

THANK FUCK. I NEED LIGHT.

rev. mary @mgrace1179 a weighted blanket is not enough i need to be compressed into a .zip file

suffering from a severe case of 2.27am brain everything is a good idea and i've never been smarter than i am right now

it's so nice to be appreciated <3<3<3<3<3

knock knock

who's there

moderately sophisticated

moderately sophisticated who?

moderately sophisticated humour.

doesn't really work with my accent but might be passable in some regions of the US.

it's not my fault i think Pros become Pros without practice. due to reasons of i have never played a sport.