#ooc you know what, i'm going to say it. like varric, i'm old and tired and done this too many times. gonna hold your hand with a pair of hot tongs when i say this and i'm not gonna sugar coat it. we've tried that. y'all don't listen.

(1/?)

*he's grinning. there's no stopping him now as he makes grand, sweeping gestures to go with the song*

Magic proof booties, go ahead and lock me up! Arrest me! But make it sexy! Arrest me! But make it sexyyyy! We'll meet in the back of your office and we'll start a verbal flirtation ~

*chuckles and kicks the door shut behind him as he clears his throat, he's not even going to argue. instead --- he starts singing*

Is that a sword in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? Putting the short in shorty, you look like you wanna arrest me -- Templar cutie, cute and and on duty ~

*rushes in and grins* Cullen!

Oh, there's two more of me? I think Fenris might have a heart attack.

Oh, Sebastian! Welcome! You wanna join my malewife squad?

I will make a list. You do not need to be a dude who is attracted to ladies to join. (Gotta respect them tho.) Malewife nation arise

We drink respect women juice three times a day and have weekly meet ups to support each other.

It's time I made a squad. A malewife squad. Who will join me?

//not meant in a shippy way i promisssseeee

Yes, good. Now join me, Cullen. And become a true malewife.

Awww, don't be like that! You'll give yourself a heart attack at this rate.

nothing wrong with being a malewife. i love being one.

Cullen! It's been far too long

Just a reminder. "New year, new me" doesn't mean "new year, /better/ me". I, for one, plan on being much worse.

Sixteen, now! She's growing so fast!

#ooc ((was not expecting spite to pick up on mikael's past drinking problems like that ----))

That would be hair of the dog and... from personal experience not recommended once already hungover. I'm talking a very big, greasy double bacon cheese burger, extra fries, and bunch of water and tylenol.

I can offer the signature Hawke Hangover Cure if you want it?

Yes I do

No, you don't.

Never.

Knew it.

You'll find out soon enough.

*holds up a video game controller and presses X to doubt*

I agree. You should come over for dinner some time. Mari Bee would probably love to see her uncle.

Oh, Carver ---

No, honestly you seem to be right.

It's been alright. Me and Fenris have our nice little cottage and the world isn't ending again. I'll take it.

It's been ages. How have you been?