tfw you can't actually tell if this is alex jones having a last parting tantrum or tim heidecker's first article

fuck yes, only the sum total weight of an affluent society as inequitably cruel as ours could produce sentences as beautifully broken and sick as these

guy who's seen four movies

let me know if that works!! killing myself if not 😃

going to a rationalist and being like listen buddy i heard about this scary new idea. its called $70’s basilisk. what if there was an entity that, when it came into being, eternally tortured everyone who didn’t give me $70? it’s a simple exercise of pascals wager white boy

Yes, the Grink was there. I'm getting to that. He was on that island with me. And I wouldn't be alive to tell my story without him.

ok has jennifer coolidge played melania yet

i think a cool thing is that every time some right winger is revealed to have, let’s say, a non-normative sexuality, i get to hear what liberals really think about me but feel they can’t voice :)

what's up chat im about to taste test the new urine flavoured Monster 👌

ok i did see the movie last night but i thought this was matt at first glance

yeah i am SO glad i finally managed to catch this in theatre

(guys behind us in line to get into the theatre)
"ohhh, it's Nirvanna, the Band, the Show, the Movie. like it's Nirvanna the Band, and they had a show. and this is the movie of the show. do you know Nirvanna the Band the Show?"
"yeah, i know Nirvana. didn't know they had a show"

also very funny to say "30 minutes from Vancouver" as if Vancouver is not also an oceanside city

it is inarguable at this point that there will be not one day of peace not one second of returning to any workable international status quo until israel is disarmed entirely

Arthur on the street with 17 baguettes under his arm

Michael Clayton (2007) - 0:58:14
Dir. Tony Gilroy
Runtime 119 minutes
🥖x17, or one baguette every 7.0 minutes

if i'm never gonna be able to retire i should be allowed to get senior discounts now

tweet from Imagine A Guy guy who only knew jesus professionally: Honey, did you hear they CRUCIFIED our CARPENTER???

i just wanna say this emoji -> 🫪 is really good

where 2 cop......

Sisyphus (1974)

#animationclips #sakuga #animation #2danimation

4 yrs ago today, a family member managed a truly spectacular own goal, splintered his domestic bliss, & in the process, united the world for a day.

On popular request, I shall now recreate the livetweet thread from that day

So gather around children, for this is the tale of The Rice Truck Saga

hey do you want to go to Resant Saloon BiteSpuf Food

ok i guess i'm actually hyped as fuckk for the back rooms movey. house of leaves shouldn't be a movie but this looks heavily influenced by it and the cast is unreasonably stacked!!

new laurel/yanny just dropped

i think sometimes cis people truly have a hard time understanding that jk rowling is a living person actively using her wealth to fund the international assault on trans lives. she’s not some Complicated Author we can have a spirited debate about separating from the art with!!!!!

"but i grew up with harry potter! i can't NOT watch it" hey thats really pathetic 👍

marie kondo's really gotten intense lately huh

sometimes i'll google "jobs for people who stutter" just to maybe get some ideas and there'll be sites that are like, There are many career paths that can allow stutterers to contribute to society!! including:

- Muck Slopper
- Rock Carrier
- Village Idiot
- Data Entry