getting the last packet of jaffa cakes and they were $2 (two dollars) felt like an apology from the universe

also thank god the trams are free because my myki card is currently in Oxford England

i could probably stomp around any city and find my way because i have a good sense of direction but still this one just hits different

when my ex explained melbourne’s grid layout and the names of all the streets my eyes glazed over but 4 years later………he’s so right

you don't know the first thing about me. you don't know what I've seen

being afraid of dogs is so embarrassing but i don’t care if im the bad guy for thinking you shouldn’t have your staffy off leash in the coles

trying to tailor my instagram algorithm so it only shows me construction videos

my thought is that maybe every time teams/outlook updates itself copilot comes back

still repeatedly uninstalling copilot from my work computer

“keep all your martini ingredients in the freezer” ok well explain to me why i’m looking at what can only be described as vermouth slushy

finding out it was daylight savings because the time on the oven was no longer synced up with the time on my phone…….i truly just exist in my own little world

nauseous about 3 different things right now

hairdresser loyalty is soooo important what do you mean I got bangs and a Diet Coke for free on my lunch break

whenever a conventionally attractive man likes me on a dating app I get scared

getting the ick from how slowly he solves a sudoku

taking an hour long round trip purely for a dr jart face mask sort of day

i would literally rather die than send a “are we still on for tonight” text

as he should!

Virgo: Feeling a bit lighter today? That's because you finally abandoned your hopes and dreams.

when other people text their ex it’s a red flag but when i do it it’s just like no but i want him to see this meme

the feminism leaving my body when a large piece of ikea furniture needs to be built

i hate that men were right that the wire is the best tv show ever made

basically just waiting until I’ve forgotten enough of what happened in the wire that i can rewatch it again

when i say i can never move back to the UK it’s mostly because i am now the kind of person who thinks 23°C is a cold day appropriate for a turtleneck

it didn’t work but i will try again tomorrow! :)

thinking about being normal tomorrow does anyone have any tips

DIET FUCKING COKE!!!!!!!!!

also people should see THE SECRET AGENT, it's really really good

no this is my emotional support $230 spend in mecca and 600ml diet coke

imagine having a normal relationship with your parents and also coincidentally imagine not living 16,000 km away from your parents