"the good news is that we have found a relatively cheap and easy way to prevent the cast from going through puberty. the bad news is that not everybody in this room is going to like it".

having a sage party where all my friends come over to my house to eat garlic sage mashed potatoes and take the Self-Administered Gerocognitive Exam

Sometimes the way tech guys talk about AI 'mistakes' reminds me of when the Koko the Gorilla people were like "oh Koko tells jokes" whenever she signed non sequitur nonsense

LOL

Kramer/Newman B-plot

You won't catch me getting upset about a movie. I know that movies are pretend

please stop distracting me while i’m trying to fly an airplane

I really thought the benefit of flying at 11:40pm was that it would be a fairly sparse plane with room to spread out but I could not be more wrong it's 100% full. Why does an entire 747 worth of people need to go from Anchorage to Chicago at midnight.

I am currently in Alaska, Chicago is still pretty solidly in the middle of a tectonic plate

everybody on the train in a mask keeps taking it off to bite their phone & shake it in their jaws while snarling & snapping if anyone tries to grab it. that defeats the whole purpose mannnn

Felt an earthquake. We should all make a point of living further away from fault lines. If you ask me

Anthony Michael Hall is Brandon Michael Hall's dad

America's favorite wedding guests