So did I!

Why the f*ck would anybody help this country again?

The vibes are rancid but at least we're all broke

Choked on my Stouffer’s chicky pot pie, the laugh was so surprised

You son of a bitch. I’m in.

There are many reasons I believe in the separation of Church and State and "you can't disagree with the head of state, that's against theology" is probably the most prominent "absolutely not" scenario.

I told you, man, I’m out of the game. Let me run my quiet bar in peace. Nothing you can say will change my mind.

Nobody will know if you pop a lil edible beforehand. It COULD be the experience of a lifetime.

They’re gonna try to do a Barbenheimer with Dunesday aren’t they

My name is Donald “KING OF KINGS,”
Look upon my works (beautiful, beautiful works, some are saying the biggest), ye Mighty, and despair

I think that we’ve given Oreo too much power. It’s time for the People to return Hydrox to its proper place in the constellation of snacks

Pope Leo: "The world is being ravaged by a handful of tyrants, yet it is held together by a multitude of supportive brothers and sisters.”

Trump on AI Jesus image: ‘I thought it was me as a doctor’ President Trump told reporters Monday that the AI image appearing to depict him as Jesus Christ was actually an image of Trump as a doctor healing people.  “I did post it, and I thought it wa…

Okay, Peepaw.

Republicans like @fetterman.senate.gov can’t be expected to act like the grownups in the room.

Universal health care. Peace, not war. Seeing the humanity in all people.

That’s what Trump is opposed to, and that’s why Pope Leo is the latest person on his attack list.

🎶You’re in a cuuuuult🎶

SHORTY SHORT SUMMER!

Ever since I was little I knew I wanted to take out a mortgage to buy toothpaste

This will haunt me until the end of my days

This is the hardest one we’ve ever been asked. With a gun to my head, sesame sticks. But under protest.

This is a solid theory and it’s all I’ll think about today. Any scrap of hope will do.

Even in completely fabricated AI slop he looks like an utter doof. He’s found the outer limits of what the technology is capable of. Nothing will make him cool.

Massacre upon massacre in Beirut in the last hour. AUBMC announced a “code disaster.” Over 100 airstrikes in 10 minutes across the country. One hit right behind my house. Sirens ambulances & the smell of sulphur. The city is in total chaos the people in complete panic

If you did not enjoy today, then call your reps and senators tomorrow and say this 👇

Wagging his finger across the aisle impotently as Trump preps a genocide for the evening

Wagging his finger across the aisle impotently as Trump preps a genocide for the evening

Let me say this plainly: Iranian children have as much of a right to live and thrive as American children.

Their babies MUST be as precious to me as my 6 niblings and my baby grandnib are IF I want them to have a future.

If I want a future for my kin AND humanity, I MUST act like it.

So must you.

The President of th United States will happily murder every single child here, because he is a sociopathic piece of shit.

We could be looking at one of the worst humanitarian crises in history tonight.