I like to think that Robbins told him in the manner of Sir Humphrey Appleby, so that Starmer didn’t understand. “One or two anomalies relating to the subject’s character, associates and conduct, which were they flags would be coloured the deepest burgundy, became apparent to the officials…”

Also, he means lower prices, not cheaper ones.

Referring to “any hurt, pain or distress” that may or may not have been experienced, and acknowledging that “mistakes have been made” without saying who made them, is not an unreserved apology.

Is there anywhere in the UK where (a) a lot of people normally vote LibDem, (b) May’s election will nevertheless be between the Tories and Reform, and (c), given the similarity of their platforms, anyone who wants to keep Reform out at all costs would vote tactically for the Tories?

“Every war when it comes, or before it comes, is represented not as a war but as an act of self-defence against a homicidal maniac.”

Farage says he might be in the frame for the manager’s job. Can’t see him taking them into Europe.

Senegal get stripped of their title for walking off the field for 15 minutes in protest at blatant home town refereeing. Chelsea cheated over an extended period in a way that brought them tangible benefits, and get a slap on the wrist and keep their Premier League titles. Disgraceful.

So what if this happened under the previous ownership? Abramovich's billions gave Chelsea an unfair advantage from which they'll continue to benefit for years to come. Or maybe the current owners could demonstrate their break with his regime by giving Ukraine the £1.5bn loan that he wrote off?

Or maybe the current Chelsea owners could demonstrate their break with the previous regime by giving Ukraine the £1.5 BILLION loan that Abramovich wrote off.

So what if this happened under the previous ownership? Abramovich's billions gave Chelsea an unfair advantage from which they continue to benefit today and will do for years to come. And this isn’t their first offence. There should have been no mitigation whatsoever.

Chelsea received a two-window transfer ban in 2019 (reduced to one on appeal) after breaking the rules on signing under-18 players, having been given a two-window transfer ban in 2010, shamefully overturned on appeal. So why do they now get a suspended ban, as if it’s a first offence?

Starmer, on the other hand, has acted with grace and dignity.

98% of the electorate looked at the new Conservative Party, as embodied by its sensible candidate, and decided No, thanks.

“Family voting” is such a dog whistle.

Reform announcing they'd create an ICE-style deportation agency and threatening a visa ban on five largely Muslim countries was a smart move in the week before a by-election in a constituency where c.30% of the population is Muslim. It’s almost as if Farage doesn’t want to win.

Someone had to fill the vacancy left by her former husband.

"Those messages were just resting in my inbox."

I didn't know pubs could vote.

Or giving £100,000+ of public money and access to trade missions to an American businesswoman with whom he was having an affair.

Jenrick and Braverman’s vote is not inconsistent with Reform’s plan to fund a 5p drop in the price of a pint by reintroducing the two-child benefit cap. Abolishing the cap is an essential precondition for reintroducing it.

Is that his house in Hartlepool?

I’m all for holding Mandelson to account, but where was this zeal to investigate misconduct in public office during the Boris Johnson years?

These adjectives are (broadly) in order of subjectivity. A raincoat is objectively green, but whether it's huge is a matter of interpretation. Likewise age, but probably less so. Origin, material and purpose are matters of fact — you wouldn’t say a coat was French or PVC unless you knew it was.

“My family’s from Manchester, you know.”
“Your family’s from Manchester, but you're not.”
“Oh, good lord, no.”

I wonder how hard the Telegraph looked for someone who wouldn’t have voted for Burnham, but will now be voting Labour.

Beastly, certainly. But 'big beast' is a stretch.

Braverman was a junior barrister and had to be made a QC when appointed AG by Johnson, her role being to give him the legal advice he wanted to hear. Made Home Secretary by the ludicrous Truss, she was outlasted not just by the lettuce but by Truss herself. Beastly yes, but in no sense a big beast.

Farage welcoming shop-soiled incompetents like Braverman, Jenrick, Rosindell and Zahawi could be part of a Reggie Perrin-style strategy to torpedo his chances of winning the next general election. He knows his talent is exploiting grievances, not doing anything about them.

It's been reported that Diego Garcia, the Chagossian rebel leader, has been spotted war-gaming military options with Rosindell and Mark Francois over a couple pints in the Mawney Arms.