Never forget: Magic Johnson and the Magic Screen are cousins.

#peeweesxmas

Is there for real a popular band going right now called “Geese” and another called “Goose”??!! My poor poor brain. 🪿🪿🪿

I started watching Dancing with the Stars here at the end of the world and simply hearing the phrase “Paso doble to Bon Jovi” may not be what I’ve been missing - but it feels *close.*

I’ve recently added 🥴 to my frequent emoji use and so you should know, I think of it as the #perimenopause emoji.

Old grey “lady,” my ass.

November is the best month to listen to Radiohead. Do with this lifehack what you will.

I’m “the mini taught me the kids were calling it ‘aura’ now” years old.

The Chair Company is a hit.

Harry Nilsson’s “Everybody’s Talkin’ at Me” has gotta be the only song with the structure:
Verse, Chorus, Adults from Peanuts
Chorus, Coda with a dash of adults from Peanuts

You can’t believe how many French words I can remember how to spell when I want them to count in Spelling Bee. #nytgames

I’ve watched #ITYSL so much that whenever a conversation is mundane enough, I start giddily looking around for the first comedic heightening. (See: work meeting [of course], lap pool at the J)

Aqua jogging is the next pickle ball but don’t tell anyone.

If you ever think “should I read her text/post in the #ITYSL voice?” — you should

Look, I was born in the 80s and keyboards soothe me like classical music is supposed to it's fiiiine.

I guess I’m just never gonna know every kind of pie … #nytpuzzles

I was forced by circumstance to be alone with my thoughts today and I made myself list female stand-up comedians in my head until I fell asleep. TLDR: Cracked meditation for myself, finally.

I wonder how I can drip water all over my shirt? Oh yeah: iced coffee!

Reminder:

Who is going to tell Pure Leaf that "t break" is already a thing for cannabis users?

@samreich.bsky.social Spin off Crowd Control! Soooooo good! @dropout.tv @gamechangershow.bsky.social

Internet: PLEASE don’t spoil FRIENDSHIP (the movie) the way you’ve spoiled friendship (the concept)!

Your off-putting hook is my razzle dazzle.

Today Paul asked me to get a bunch of small rocks out of our yard. I started and he asked me if I wanted a rake or something and I said no. He said “Oh - you’re gonna Marina Abromivic it?”

And that! Is MY husband. NEVER SETTLE. @pgallo.bsky.social

<coffin flop sketch ends>

Youth Pastor Voice: you know who else didn’t stay where they put him after he died,

I’ve had big worries and felt helpless lately (how unique!) so I did what any Adirondacker does on a nice Spring weekend: I cleaned the inside of my car. Really well. And it was filthy. Clumsy-with-coffee seltzer-junkie dog-car? Gross.

And the girls are gagged

Sometimes I flash on being in TN after my mom died and my bf Emily asking me if the guns in my Dad’s laundry room/pantry were real - me saying “duh, em yeah” and she said “I mean … This close to the spaghetti-os?”

I’m only seeing Mother’s Day wishes when it’s UK Mother’s Day and I live in NY and also *my* mom is deeeeeeeeead!

Paul married the only person in the world who can fold a fitted sheet and he still has the nerve to *occasionally* act a *little* annoyed that it IS the *only* chore I do around here with any regularity.

DICKINSON is not being marketed properly by AppleTV. Watched the trailer w/a friend to convince them to give it a watch and there are all but no jokes in the trailer. Dickinson is (along with a plethora of other brilliance) FUNNY.