meet me under the big mushroom orbiting the piss planet for an ass kicking

big news! drinking water feels good

hanging out ordinary style with my regular friends

this is what dead chat in town of salem feels like btw

a watched vape never charges

never playing jackbox again

my hobbies include forgetting i am mildly allergic to fruit and then eating fruit

yer da goes to SWG3 in full star wars cosplay calls himself the mandylorian

remember when big phones were called phablets

ordered a dress from ebay and it came with an ad for diarrhea medicine???

my head...... hurce

why is my taxi driver brushing his teeth

sea monkey-themed petplay where i feed you a level scoop of spirulina every seven days

the imaginary louis theroux in your head

polyvore was an INSANE name for a website in hindsight

Uni ate a whole chicken again!?
Chicken boy!!

nobody cares about gel pens anymore

this is what i like to fucking see

in the club thinking about how little grebes carry their babies on their backs

what if there was a guy called Duncan Donuts

really weird that we got nosferatu before we even got nosferaone

look at this fucking thing!!!

ever since i learned of the existence of the ferret-badger my life has known nothing but love and peace

i am officially A Bartender™ now

cannae believe i got new rock dupes from shoe zone of all places

call me thomas the tank engine the way i'm actually steamin

(fall out boy voice) why don't you show me that little bit of jork you've been saving for his peanits

supermassive black hole comes on in the club and i become physically compelled to serve cunt

i am sooooo full of mushrooms rn