ty this is very kind and also i think everytime i think about it, my ocd is like “you’re insane and you’re obsessed with your therapist” which is not helpful of my brain

i have honestly spent 12 months parsing through how insane i feel about my php therapist in that it feels like an immense loss and i think about him everyday and i know it’s not HIM but idk what it is

i’ve reread it a few times and i’m always like “this isn’t that nice he didnt even like me” and then i hit that part and i lose it

i keep my card from my favorite therapist on my desk but i’m cleaning to make room for a monitor and my desk-o ball so i read it while i relocated it and it should be illegal for someone who profoundly changed and then exited my life to sign something “forever your queer catfish”

i didn't learn till last year that you were supposed to uh poop when you feel the need to poop, not wait until it was convenient. i'm 36.

my somatic therapist was like "how much do you know about highly sensitive people and does it feel like it fits for you?" and i can't decide if i think HSP is hooey or something useful to look into.

somatic therapy feels like hooey for me but that's why i do it. it's helped a ton.

work has been hell and ive been plotting this out in my head and grinning all day

ER/Pitt fan cam set to “take me to the hospital“ - the prodigy

scout staring through my bedroom door watching my sleep at 3am

it is also nice bc i work in sexual violence prevention and crisis care and it is a field i have been involved in since i was a teenager so i know A Lot About The Work but in an autistic way where im pulling together threads of info thru time in a way i dont get to do often and love to do ok thank u

reading 150 pages of application information in bed with my legs kicking in the air because i’m a sicko who loves the kind of writing that is now just AI (breaking down immense amounts of data and information into accessible, actionable steps and processes)

i’m working on my first state/federal grant where i’m the only grant writer and i’m fuckin giddy reading through all of the different datasets i get to pull and present and i am furious i don’t have rich parents bc i would love an advanced degree are you kidding me

my favorite genre of story as a kid was anything where the protagonist finds out that they are actually adopted. like any time my mom got a phone call that sounded like a big deal, i prayed it was the hospital or something saying i was switched by accident. i didnt dream of much else in the “future“

also to be clear, she will have money to cover rent. if you want to give her money to help with that, also let me know.

also looking for trans friendly part time work. ideally with some flexibility. she has been thru a lot and it can take time to find yourself after scary shit. anyway uhhhh plz lmk. thank you!

hi if you live in chicago or know someone who does and they’re looking for a roommate, plz let me know! one of my dear friends is a trans woman in her early 20s and she needs safe, longterm emergency housing. if she can move in within a week, amazing. dm me.

so i experience chronic guarding of my abdomen and i thought it was just like “tightness” and just learned it is literally the body trying to protect me from pain.
i feel like my parents were like “what kind of fucked up lil guy can we make by inflicting physical and emotional pain at random?” me!

been absolutely maxed out so i've been allowing myself to do the things i feel are "very rude" to accommodate myself. so i'm rocking and wearing sunglasses and my n95 in a staff meeting

anyway this has been “being nice to lil me” posting. what a freak

i wrote an essay at like 13 about how i ran into andy rooney in an elevator and he was really mean to me and it hurt my feelings. which …. i was missing some critical understanding there. but he was very very annoyed.

i also really loved 60 minutes primarily because of the clock noise and i would be like DAD CAN WE WATCH 60 MINUTES but i would try to be chill about it because i wanted my dad to like me but i was also a child so i was like 🙂‍↔️😤🙂‍↔️😤🙂‍↔️😤😡😡😡

i love to be a 7 year old girl who is fixated on “movie so long and so popular.”

pretty neurotypical childhood, just had a whole era where i repeatedly asked my dad about the showing of the titanic movie. (how does someone go to the movie and also pee? how do you show a movie that long? why is it so long? how does a movie that long get into the cassette?)

scout is sitting next to me on the couch for the first time in a week and i'm pretty much crying i love her

a giant hawk was cawing and eating a bat in front of me and william while i screamed and nothing bad has happened since.

the balloon museum is my enemy what do you mean they extended through early september GET OUTTA HERE i hate you

we love jessica!!!!!!!

if we’ve been mutuals for a while, you probably have an idea as to how huge this is. i am feeling all of that. i am a proud big sister!!!! (i will always be her sister no matter what my pronouns are, it just feels right)

she’s been a cna for a few years. she is the embodiment of doing hard things and being a big angel while doing them. i love her. please send her good thoughts bc there is a small possibility she doesn’t get in but i very much doubt it 💕

cool nurses of bluesky, my sweet baby sister is probably getting into nursing school today which … i cannot express how proud i am. what are things you needed that i could gift her? i might get scrubs but need brand recs.