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Posts by SMBC Comics

1-panel SMBC comic update. A man is on the street wearing a sandwich sign that reads "AGI is HERE!" He is yelling, arms in the air, saying "the end is nigh! The end is nigh! Make sure to diversify your portfolio and be prepared to re-skill!" The caption reads "The Singularity is the most American of all apocalypses."

1-panel SMBC comic update. A man is on the street wearing a sandwich sign that reads "AGI is HERE!" He is yelling, arms in the air, saying "the end is nigh! The end is nigh! Make sure to diversify your portfolio and be prepared to re-skill!" The caption reads "The Singularity is the most American of all apocalypses."

I read a guy saying all cognitive tasks will be automated, so it's important to stay flexible, and all I can figure is he was imagining humans would make a good building material.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/nigh-2
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

16 hours ago 179 33 5 0
Part 1/2 of a 7-panel SMBC comic update. A young woman is praying, asking God "is it OK that I cause a small amount of pollution every day? Even though it results in some small but real increase in the incidence of cancer?" God responds "of course. The harm is infinitesimal." The woman continues her inquiry, becoming more specific. She says "OK, now suppose I work with a million other programmers, each contributing a tiny bit of code to create a torture button on Reddit. pain starts at 0, and can go up to 10 million. Each person can only press the button once. And we can prove that any press of the button causes no detectable increase in pain."

Part 1/2 of a 7-panel SMBC comic update. A young woman is praying, asking God "is it OK that I cause a small amount of pollution every day? Even though it results in some small but real increase in the incidence of cancer?" God responds "of course. The harm is infinitesimal." The woman continues her inquiry, becoming more specific. She says "OK, now suppose I work with a million other programmers, each contributing a tiny bit of code to create a torture button on Reddit. pain starts at 0, and can go up to 10 million. Each person can only press the button once. And we can prove that any press of the button causes no detectable increase in pain."

Part 2/2 of a 7-panel SMBC comic update. The woman concludes "by your logic, NOTHING IMMORAL has happened! There must be some quantum threshold for sinning, and below that, it’s open season!" God asks in return "have you been reading Derek Parfit again?" to which the woman responds "it’s the handbook for tactical villainy!" The next panel cuts to later, where God is talking to an angel. The angel asks "another flood then, Lord?" God specifies "yeah, but have each angel deliver a single drop."

Part 2/2 of a 7-panel SMBC comic update. The woman concludes "by your logic, NOTHING IMMORAL has happened! There must be some quantum threshold for sinning, and below that, it’s open season!" God asks in return "have you been reading Derek Parfit again?" to which the woman responds "it’s the handbook for tactical villainy!" The next panel cuts to later, where God is talking to an angel. The angel asks "another flood then, Lord?" God specifies "yeah, but have each angel deliver a single drop."

The funny part is every action in your life turns SOME torture dial!

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/dial
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1 day ago 160 28 2 1
4-panel SMBC comic update. A man and his young son are standing on a hill at night beneath the stars. The son asks what's the key to a happy life, to which the father responds "achieving your dreams." He explains "so, while you're still young, still ahead of all your crossroads... Pick out some shitty *shitty* dreams." The son answers "I'm gonna be the member of the friend group who speaks only in trivia and movie quotations, and then cries at night but doesn't understand why." This brings tears to the father's eyes, who says "attaboy!"

4-panel SMBC comic update. A man and his young son are standing on a hill at night beneath the stars. The son asks what's the key to a happy life, to which the father responds "achieving your dreams." He explains "so, while you're still young, still ahead of all your crossroads... Pick out some shitty *shitty* dreams." The son answers "I'm gonna be the member of the friend group who speaks only in trivia and movie quotations, and then cries at night but doesn't understand why." This brings tears to the father's eyes, who says "attaboy!"

I'm pretty sure this is how Stoicism works, just more douchey.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/dreams-2
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

2 days ago 218 28 3 0
4-panel SMBC comic update. Two men, one in a green-blue shirt and the other one with a mustache and glasses, are talking outside. The man with the green-blue shirt says the he thinks modern media is killing attention spans and making people stupid. The man with the mustache replies that people said that about all forms of media including books and the printing press. He then mentions a fire on his head, adding "is the fire growing? Maybe. But you could have said that 4 seconds ago. Or six seconds ago. Or twelve seconds ago." The other man says he was going to ask about that, as we see the man with the mustache pose for his phone, responding with "it's called content Dave."

4-panel SMBC comic update. Two men, one in a green-blue shirt and the other one with a mustache and glasses, are talking outside. The man with the green-blue shirt says the he thinks modern media is killing attention spans and making people stupid. The man with the mustache replies that people said that about all forms of media including books and the printing press. He then mentions a fire on his head, adding "is the fire growing? Maybe. But you could have said that 4 seconds ago. Or six seconds ago. Or twelve seconds ago." The other man says he was going to ask about that, as we see the man with the mustache pose for his phone, responding with "it's called content Dave."

The key is to put the self-on-fire at the beginning of the video and promise to show that it technically cures cancer, but only if you watch to the end without skipping.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/same-3
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

3 days ago 118 12 1 0
2-panel SMBC comic update. A cartoon beaver and a duck are meeting in the day of night. The duck asks "you forgot to bring a condom?" to which the beaver replies "come on, baby. We're not even in the same clade." Later, both cartoon animals are seen sitting in a modern living room surrounded by baby platypus. Both parents look depressed.

2-panel SMBC comic update. A cartoon beaver and a duck are meeting in the day of night. The duck asks "you forgot to bring a condom?" to which the beaver replies "come on, baby. We're not even in the same clade." Later, both cartoon animals are seen sitting in a modern living room surrounded by baby platypus. Both parents look depressed.

Later it turns out the duck was getting with a porcupine and had a litter of echidnas.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/forbid...
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

4 days ago 289 70 8 1
Part 1/2 of a 6-panel SMBC comic update. A man is kneeling in prayer in the sand of a beach by the water. He asks "God, if you're infinitely powerful and infinitely good, how come bad things happen to good people?" God then asks as His reply "is preventing suffering good?" The man answers yes. God follows up with "am I capable of causing infinite suffering?" to which the man also answers yes.

Part 1/2 of a 6-panel SMBC comic update. A man is kneeling in prayer in the sand of a beach by the water. He asks "God, if you're infinitely powerful and infinitely good, how come bad things happen to good people?" God then asks as His reply "is preventing suffering good?" The man answers yes. God follows up with "am I capable of causing infinite suffering?" to which the man also answers yes.

Part 2/2 of a 6-panel SMBC comic update. After the man replied yes to His two questions, God states "it follows that merely by doing nothing I do infinite good." The man is annoyingly stunned. He says "don't know if I love you going a logical end-run around the deepest question in theology." to which God replies "wait till you find out who invented logic!"

Part 2/2 of a 6-panel SMBC comic update. After the man replied yes to His two questions, God states "it follows that merely by doing nothing I do infinite good." The man is annoyingly stunned. He says "don't know if I love you going a logical end-run around the deepest question in theology." to which God replies "wait till you find out who invented logic!"

Brought to you by the All Theodicy compilation of SMBC, coming 2035.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/infini...
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

5 days ago 144 24 4 3
4-panel SMBC comic update. A woman is teaching a man sitting at a desk. The man says "I get it! You write (equation)* and that tells you the superposition is some amount in the 0 direction and some amount in the 1 direction." The woman replies "now that you've got it, we'll use this easier form" and proceeds to write a much longer equation on the board. The man then says "this is why people become chemists" to which the teacher replies "do not use the c-word in my presence" *equation won't copy properly in the alt-text.

4-panel SMBC comic update. A woman is teaching a man sitting at a desk. The man says "I get it! You write (equation)* and that tells you the superposition is some amount in the 0 direction and some amount in the 1 direction." The woman replies "now that you've got it, we'll use this easier form" and proceeds to write a much longer equation on the board. The man then says "this is why people become chemists" to which the teacher replies "do not use the c-word in my presence" *equation won't copy properly in the alt-text.

Brought to you by Zach hasn't studied physics in years and is trying to read through the famous Mike and Ike quantum computing textbook.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/easier
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

6 days ago 177 24 9 5
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Part 1/2 of an 8-panel SMBC comic update. In the first panel, a knight in armor walks up to a witch with green skin. He asks her forcefully why she imprisoned the princess in a tower. The witch replies, annoyed, saying "this is medieval fable times! Every man is trying to get her pregnant and every woman is trying to eat her!" Two other people rise from a nearby bush saying "true!" and "guilty!" The witch continues saying that every short person is an evil fairy and every ugly person is literally Satan.

Part 1/2 of an 8-panel SMBC comic update. In the first panel, a knight in armor walks up to a witch with green skin. He asks her forcefully why she imprisoned the princess in a tower. The witch replies, annoyed, saying "this is medieval fable times! Every man is trying to get her pregnant and every woman is trying to eat her!" Two other people rise from a nearby bush saying "true!" and "guilty!" The witch continues saying that every short person is an evil fairy and every ugly person is literally Satan.

Part 2/2 of an 8-panel SMBC comic update. Two other people emerge from nearby bushes, one correcting the witch that he's not a fairy, he's actually a gremlin, and the other confirming that he IS Satan. The witch finishes her monologue, saying the only responsible thing is to lock her up, when she looks up and realizes that the knight climbed up on her hair. The knight and a Rapunzel-inspired princess stand at the tower window, the princess already has a noticeably rounder belly. The princess says she is witch child. Exasperated, the witch yells "it's been thirty seconds!" while one of the folks that was in the bushes excitingly holds a fork and knife.

Part 2/2 of an 8-panel SMBC comic update. Two other people emerge from nearby bushes, one correcting the witch that he's not a fairy, he's actually a gremlin, and the other confirming that he IS Satan. The witch finishes her monologue, saying the only responsible thing is to lock her up, when she looks up and realizes that the knight climbed up on her hair. The knight and a Rapunzel-inspired princess stand at the tower window, the princess already has a noticeably rounder belly. The princess says she is witch child. Exasperated, the witch yells "it's been thirty seconds!" while one of the folks that was in the bushes excitingly holds a fork and knife.

She immediately starts building a child-size oven in a house made of candy.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/witch-2
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1 week ago 150 16 3 1
1-panel SMBC comic update. A little girl is looking over to a mime that is mostly unseen out of frame, except for their hand and striped sleeve. The girl's mother is encouragingly touching her daughter, kneeling next to her. The little girl says "mommy, he's trapped in that invisible box!" The mother replies "no, sweetie. He built the box. And soon, he'll emerge with a colorful coat and a honking noise to indicate readiness to mate." The caption below the comic reads "mimes are the larval stage of clowns."

1-panel SMBC comic update. A little girl is looking over to a mime that is mostly unseen out of frame, except for their hand and striped sleeve. The girl's mother is encouragingly touching her daughter, kneeling next to her. The little girl says "mommy, he's trapped in that invisible box!" The mother replies "no, sweetie. He built the box. And soon, he'll emerge with a colorful coat and a honking noise to indicate readiness to mate." The caption below the comic reads "mimes are the larval stage of clowns."

The only offputting part is when the young burst out later.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/stage
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1 week ago 210 32 6 0
1-panel SMBC comic update. A man marvels victoriously as explosions he can see via the screen of a villain-sized computer. The man yells "There! Neutron bombs have obliterated every scrap of humanity but me from the face of the earth! Peace! Peace at last!" The caption reads "I'm not a hug person."

1-panel SMBC comic update. A man marvels victoriously as explosions he can see via the screen of a villain-sized computer. The man yells "There! Neutron bombs have obliterated every scrap of humanity but me from the face of the earth! Peace! Peace at last!" The caption reads "I'm not a hug person."

It's not about the humanicide, it's about avoiding awkwardness.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/peace-3
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1 week ago 157 14 7 1
2-panel SMBC comic update. In the first panel, Jesus, flanked by two disciples, says "and why do you look at the spekc that is in your brother's eye, but you do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" The seocnd panel shows the person he is talking to, a man with a log over his face. The man, replies, annoyed "because there's a fucking LOG in my eye."

2-panel SMBC comic update. In the first panel, Jesus, flanked by two disciples, says "and why do you look at the spekc that is in your brother's eye, but you do not notice the log that is in your own eye?" The seocnd panel shows the person he is talking to, a man with a log over his face. The man, replies, annoyed "because there's a fucking LOG in my eye."

He got cursed with it after that time Jesus yelled at a fig tree.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/log
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1 week ago 125 11 2 2
Title image of the comic "The music of the Spheres" by Dr. Terence Tao and Zach Weinersmith.

Title image of the comic "The music of the Spheres" by Dr. Terence Tao and Zach Weinersmith.

First 2 panels of the comic "The music of the Spheres." A man is narrating the comic, he is the comic representation of the quoted author, Dr. Terence Tao. He says "When I tell people at parties that I'm a mathematician, there's often an awkward pause in the conversation, or the obligatory..." A tall character next to him chimes in "Oh, I was sooooo bad at Math in school!" In the second panel, the narrator continues "though occasionally, you run into a math and science enthusiast who wants to discuss a recent development they heard in the news..." The narrator looks deeply touched, as a young woman is talking to him, she is saying : "oh my gosh, my friends and I cannot stop talking about reconstructing cryptographic protocols from quantum principles and... Do you want to move this conversation to a whiteboard?"

First 2 panels of the comic "The music of the Spheres." A man is narrating the comic, he is the comic representation of the quoted author, Dr. Terence Tao. He says "When I tell people at parties that I'm a mathematician, there's often an awkward pause in the conversation, or the obligatory..." A tall character next to him chimes in "Oh, I was sooooo bad at Math in school!" In the second panel, the narrator continues "though occasionally, you run into a math and science enthusiast who wants to discuss a recent development they heard in the news..." The narrator looks deeply touched, as a young woman is talking to him, she is saying : "oh my gosh, my friends and I cannot stop talking about reconstructing cryptographic protocols from quantum principles and... Do you want to move this conversation to a whiteboard?"

Panels 3 to 6 of the comic "The music of the Spheres." The narrator is putting a reassuring hand on a sad man's shoulder. The narration reads "...or someone who actually had a good experience in their math classes and was somewhat wistful about not pursuing it." The saddened man says "I'll always think of Hadwiger's graph theory conjecture as... the one who got away." In the next panels, the narrator states "those are good moments. But, in general, the public have very little idea what mathematics is, and what mathematicians actually do. Popular culture gives us some caricature portrayals of mathematicians"

Panels 3 to 6 of the comic "The music of the Spheres." The narrator is putting a reassuring hand on a sad man's shoulder. The narration reads "...or someone who actually had a good experience in their math classes and was somewhat wistful about not pursuing it." The saddened man says "I'll always think of Hadwiger's graph theory conjecture as... the one who got away." In the next panels, the narrator states "those are good moments. But, in general, the public have very little idea what mathematics is, and what mathematicians actually do. Popular culture gives us some caricature portrayals of mathematicians"

Panels 7 and 8 of the comic "The music of the Spheres." Both panels show a caricature of a mathematicians from pop culture. The first is a tortured genius, represented by a woman holding a piece of chalk saying "I cannot know love, but by god I *will* know if every polyomino with an area divisible by six can tile and hexagon!" The narration specifies that "torturedness rates among mathematicians are, in fact, average." The second example is the savant with strange mental powers, represented by a man surrounded by equations that obscure his vision. The narration specifies that "if you see equations floating before your eyes, please consult an ophthalmologist."

Panels 7 and 8 of the comic "The music of the Spheres." Both panels show a caricature of a mathematicians from pop culture. The first is a tortured genius, represented by a woman holding a piece of chalk saying "I cannot know love, but by god I *will* know if every polyomino with an area divisible by six can tile and hexagon!" The narration specifies that "torturedness rates among mathematicians are, in fact, average." The second example is the savant with strange mental powers, represented by a man surrounded by equations that obscure his vision. The narration specifies that "if you see equations floating before your eyes, please consult an ophthalmologist."

Does this change my imaginary Erdos number to a complex number?

Click the link to read the full comic on the site!

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/sphere...
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1 week ago 150 26 9 7
4-panel SMBC comic update. A girl in black and white stands before a grey background. The caption over the panel reads "philosophers raised Mary in a colorless environment." The next panel shows observers with clipboards looking at Mary through a pane of glass. The caption for that panel says : "Mary knows all about the theory of colors. Wavelengths, intensity, frequency. But she has never seen them with her own eyes. The third panel shows a close-up of Mary's face as her eyes shine and her mouth is raised into a grin. The caption reads "one day, Mary sees the color red. The question is: does Mary experience 'qualia' that provides new information?" The final panel shows Mary slicing one of the observers in a lab coat with a knife, as blood spills. The caption reads "the answer is yes" as Mary yells "PHILOSOPHERS BLEED!"

4-panel SMBC comic update. A girl in black and white stands before a grey background. The caption over the panel reads "philosophers raised Mary in a colorless environment." The next panel shows observers with clipboards looking at Mary through a pane of glass. The caption for that panel says : "Mary knows all about the theory of colors. Wavelengths, intensity, frequency. But she has never seen them with her own eyes. The third panel shows a close-up of Mary's face as her eyes shine and her mouth is raised into a grin. The caption reads "one day, Mary sees the color red. The question is: does Mary experience 'qualia' that provides new information?" The final panel shows Mary slicing one of the observers in a lab coat with a knife, as blood spills. The caption reads "the answer is yes" as Mary yells "PHILOSOPHERS BLEED!"

The survivors try to escape on a trolley but get derailed when they swerve toward five people.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/mary
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1 week ago 120 8 3 0
1-panel SMBC comic update. A caption over the comic reads "politicians deeply underrate the utility of the future perfect continuous tense for technical non-lying." In the panel, a man in a suit is orating by a podium, he says "my fellow citizens, I am pleased to announce that the war will have been over soon!"

1-panel SMBC comic update. A caption over the comic reads "politicians deeply underrate the utility of the future perfect continuous tense for technical non-lying." In the panel, a man in a suit is orating by a podium, he says "my fellow citizens, I am pleased to announce that the war will have been over soon!"

We will have had peace immediately!

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/will-2
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

1 week ago 122 15 3 0
1-panel SMBC comic update. A mother and her daughter are in a garden. The mother is burying peanuts from a jar using a trowel. her daughter is by the fence, holding her hands nervously to her chest. She asks "so... They take it back to their nest to share. but inside the circus peanuts is - " Her mother answers "Borax." The caption below the panel reads "We managed to clear the clown infestation."

1-panel SMBC comic update. A mother and her daughter are in a garden. The mother is burying peanuts from a jar using a trowel. her daughter is by the fence, holding her hands nervously to her chest. She asks "so... They take it back to their nest to share. but inside the circus peanuts is - " Her mother answers "Borax." The caption below the panel reads "We managed to clear the clown infestation."

I think I'm the only one who likes the clowns are a species jokes, but by GOD I love them.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/borax
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

2 weeks ago 179 17 8 0
Part 1/2 of a 6-panel SMBC comic update. An old man is talking to his son as he lays in bed. He asks his son to read him all of Dostoyevsky’s Notes from Underground. The son asks why, the father answers that he has his reasons. The son begins to read, saying “I am a sick man.... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased…" The next panel cuts to 9 hours later, as the finishes the book, reading out the closing passage : "…we shall contrive to be born somehow from an idea. But enough; I don’t want to write more from Underground.”

Part 1/2 of a 6-panel SMBC comic update. An old man is talking to his son as he lays in bed. He asks his son to read him all of Dostoyevsky’s Notes from Underground. The son asks why, the father answers that he has his reasons. The son begins to read, saying “I am a sick man.... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased…" The next panel cuts to 9 hours later, as the finishes the book, reading out the closing passage : "…we shall contrive to be born somehow from an idea. But enough; I don’t want to write more from Underground.”

Part 2/2 of a 6-panel SMBC comic update. The father asks for the book, and begins to read as well for his bed, adding "Hi" to the opening sentences of the book. He reads out loud "Hi, a sick man.... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased…" The next panel cuts to nine hours later, as the father is ending the book, he reads out "…we shall contrive to be born somehow from an idea. But enough; I don’t want to write more from Underground…" His son interjects, begging "don't do it," to which his father replies "I'M DAD!"

Part 2/2 of a 6-panel SMBC comic update. The father asks for the book, and begins to read as well for his bed, adding "Hi" to the opening sentences of the book. He reads out loud "Hi, a sick man.... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased…" The next panel cuts to nine hours later, as the father is ending the book, he reads out "…we shall contrive to be born somehow from an idea. But enough; I don’t want to write more from Underground…" His son interjects, begging "don't do it," to which his father replies "I'M DAD!"

Suddenly regretting that I didn't just draw a word for word graphic novel of the entire book twice.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/hi
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

2 weeks ago 124 22 3 2
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1-panel SMBC comic update. A doctor holding a chart is talking to Superman in his full hero suit, sitting on the exam table. The doctor says "I'm sorry Superman. There's been a recent uptick in early-onset cancer among... You." The caption below the comic reads "studies find a 100% increase in super-death resulting from environmental micro-kryptonite."

1-panel SMBC comic update. A doctor holding a chart is talking to Superman in his full hero suit, sitting on the exam table. The doctor says "I'm sorry Superman. There's been a recent uptick in early-onset cancer among... You." The caption below the comic reads "studies find a 100% increase in super-death resulting from environmental micro-kryptonite."

It's inoperable thanks to the yellow sun of Earth!

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/super-3
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

2 weeks ago 94 7 2 0
1-panel SMBC comic update. A man is scolding his cat. The cat is represented by a dark silhouette in the lower left corner. The man says " Bad kitty! Bad! I know you think it’s a gift, but in our society we break the cycle of violence by vesting penal authority in the state!" The caption below the comic reads "Secretly, I was pleased when Kitty brought in my high school bully’s corpse."

1-panel SMBC comic update. A man is scolding his cat. The cat is represented by a dark silhouette in the lower left corner. The man says " Bad kitty! Bad! I know you think it’s a gift, but in our society we break the cycle of violence by vesting penal authority in the state!" The caption below the comic reads "Secretly, I was pleased when Kitty brought in my high school bully’s corpse."

You can't see it from this angle, but the kitty has an AK.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/bad-4
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

2 weeks ago 163 23 0 0
Picture of the book cover of "Sawyer Lee and the Quest to Just Stay Home" with a yellow background. The book is surrounded by black text reading : "A mystery/adventure about avoiding mystery/adventure! For middle-grade readers and adults who aren't humorless husks! Now on preorder!"

Picture of the book cover of "Sawyer Lee and the Quest to Just Stay Home" with a yellow background. The book is surrounded by black text reading : "A mystery/adventure about avoiding mystery/adventure! For middle-grade readers and adults who aren't humorless husks! Now on preorder!"

SAWYER LEE AND THE QUEST TO JUST STAY HOME is still on preorder! A mystery/adventure story about avoiding mystery/adventure for middle-grade readers and adults who aren't miserable humorless husks.

us.macmillan.com/books/978037...

2 weeks ago 12 2 0 1
Part 1/4 of an 11-panel SMBC comic update. Two women are talking as they observe children playing in a fenced park. The bespectacled one of the two asks "at what age did you realize you weren’t special?" The other replies "probably around 28 or so. But it took a while to sink in." The first woman asks if the second woman has noticed that we tell kids often that they are special. When asked if she thinks this is bad, the bespectacled woman says that's it's not, it's just pointless. She adds "like, try to convince a 7 year old they aren’t special. They simply will not believe you."

Part 1/4 of an 11-panel SMBC comic update. Two women are talking as they observe children playing in a fenced park. The bespectacled one of the two asks "at what age did you realize you weren’t special?" The other replies "probably around 28 or so. But it took a while to sink in." The first woman asks if the second woman has noticed that we tell kids often that they are special. When asked if she thinks this is bad, the bespectacled woman says that's it's not, it's just pointless. She adds "like, try to convince a 7 year old they aren’t special. They simply will not believe you."

Part 2/4 of an 11-panel SMBC comic update. The bespectacled woman continues to explain her point of view as the children play in the park. "Their lives are filled with fresh novelties that seem made for them alone. Let a kid see a new bug and you cannot convince them that anyone else ever saw it first. The universe created this entire species just for them to find it, today, right this second." She challenges the second woman to convince her she is special, to which the second woman replies "you really brighten up my life, sally." The bespectacled woman, named Sally, responds with "look! Look at you! You can’t even use new phrasing to describe me! You don’t have it, and if you did, I’m not worthy of it!"

Part 2/4 of an 11-panel SMBC comic update. The bespectacled woman continues to explain her point of view as the children play in the park. "Their lives are filled with fresh novelties that seem made for them alone. Let a kid see a new bug and you cannot convince them that anyone else ever saw it first. The universe created this entire species just for them to find it, today, right this second." She challenges the second woman to convince her she is special, to which the second woman replies "you really brighten up my life, sally." The bespectacled woman, named Sally, responds with "look! Look at you! You can’t even use new phrasing to describe me! You don’t have it, and if you did, I’m not worthy of it!"

Part 3/4 of an 11-panel SMBC comic update. Sally is agitated, and rants the following for the next 4 panels, with the last panel showing her smearing cake all over her face. She says "the worst thing is I'm only thinking about this because I'm upset about an email this morning. the most GENERiC modern problem I can imagine! my only hope is to rebel. To just do whatever no one has done because there was never a reason to do it before. I'm gonna cram brownies into my nose and run around making turkey noises! GYOBBA GYOBBA GYOBBA GYOBBA GYOBBA GYOBBA! GYOBBA GYOBBA GYOBBA GYOBBA GYOBBA!"

Part 3/4 of an 11-panel SMBC comic update. Sally is agitated, and rants the following for the next 4 panels, with the last panel showing her smearing cake all over her face. She says "the worst thing is I'm only thinking about this because I'm upset about an email this morning. the most GENERiC modern problem I can imagine! my only hope is to rebel. To just do whatever no one has done because there was never a reason to do it before. I'm gonna cram brownies into my nose and run around making turkey noises! GYOBBA GYOBBA GYOBBA GYOBBA GYOBBA GYOBBA! GYOBBA GYOBBA GYOBBA GYOBBA GYOBBA!"

Part 4/4 of an 11-panel SMBC comic update. The kids previously playing in the park watch Sally run around. A boy asks "do all adults eventually go crazy?" A girl replies "it's pretty standard, yeah."

Part 4/4 of an 11-panel SMBC comic update. The kids previously playing in the park watch Sally run around. A boy asks "do all adults eventually go crazy?" A girl replies "it's pretty standard, yeah."

When I was a kid, I wondered why all adults are crazy. Now I wonder how any are sane.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/specia...
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

2 weeks ago 170 24 2 1
Part 1/2 of a 8-panel SMBC comic update. A bearded man dressed in fur is ransacking the apartment of a man in contemporary clothing, who is tied to a chair, and eating a banana. The bearded man laments that none of the appliances even work, to which the tied-up man replies that it's because of planned obsolescence. The bearded man asks if his prisoner has an ancestral sword or helmet, to which the tied-up man replies that his dad's stuff was mostly old magazines and cheap furniture that went straight to the dump.

Part 1/2 of a 8-panel SMBC comic update. A bearded man dressed in fur is ransacking the apartment of a man in contemporary clothing, who is tied to a chair, and eating a banana. The bearded man laments that none of the appliances even work, to which the tied-up man replies that it's because of planned obsolescence. The bearded man asks if his prisoner has an ancestral sword or helmet, to which the tied-up man replies that his dad's stuff was mostly old magazines and cheap furniture that went straight to the dump.

Part 2/2 of a 8-panel SMBC comic update. Frustrated, the bearded man point his ax to the sky and declares that he will take his prisoner's land, to which the tied-up man replies "this is a rental." The bearded man yells "Bah! What's the use in raiding and looting when everything is disposable!" To which the tied-up man replies "if you want something permanent to steal I have a LOT of debt."

Part 2/2 of a 8-panel SMBC comic update. Frustrated, the bearded man point his ax to the sky and declares that he will take his prisoner's land, to which the tied-up man replies "this is a rental." The bearded man yells "Bah! What's the use in raiding and looting when everything is disposable!" To which the tied-up man replies "if you want something permanent to steal I have a LOT of debt."

The most valuable thing he owns are old Pokemon cards, so the Viking has to create an eBay account to complete the job of looting.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/loot
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

2 weeks ago 139 20 1 1
4-panel SMBC comic update. A doctor grimly delivers a diagnosis o a patient, saying "I'm afraid you have updawg." Assuming the doctor is joking, the patient replies, amused, "what's updawg?" The doctor responds "an unfortunately-named protein that causes aggressive cancer." The man looks down, saddened, uttering a disappointed "Dawg..." The doctor then replies "'Dawg' is the benign variant."

4-panel SMBC comic update. A doctor grimly delivers a diagnosis o a patient, saying "I'm afraid you have updawg." Assuming the doctor is joking, the patient replies, amused, "what's updawg?" The doctor responds "an unfortunately-named protein that causes aggressive cancer." The man looks down, saddened, uttering a disappointed "Dawg..." The doctor then replies "'Dawg' is the benign variant."

You also have chickenbutt, but honestly it's the least of your worries.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/up-4
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

2 weeks ago 123 14 1 1
6-panel SMBC comic update. A man and a woman are talking outside on the grass. The woman says that tech bros drive her nuts, and that we need more of them to engage with the humanities. The man responds with scorn, asking if she is insane. He explains that many dictators dabbled in the humanities, such as staling being a poet, Hitler a failed painter, Mao and teacher and Mussolini a writer of erotic fiction. The man continues saying "you want to take a bunch of ambitious people and put them through the bottomless self-loathing of attempting to build a life on top of an arts degree… and you think this will HELP humankind?" The woman recoils before shouting emphatically "ACCELERATE THE END TIMES! BRING ON THE APOCALYPSE! MORE ART HISTORY DEGREES!" prompting the man to point at her saying "AHA!"

6-panel SMBC comic update. A man and a woman are talking outside on the grass. The woman says that tech bros drive her nuts, and that we need more of them to engage with the humanities. The man responds with scorn, asking if she is insane. He explains that many dictators dabbled in the humanities, such as staling being a poet, Hitler a failed painter, Mao and teacher and Mussolini a writer of erotic fiction. The man continues saying "you want to take a bunch of ambitious people and put them through the bottomless self-loathing of attempting to build a life on top of an arts degree… and you think this will HELP humankind?" The woman recoils before shouting emphatically "ACCELERATE THE END TIMES! BRING ON THE APOCALYPSE! MORE ART HISTORY DEGREES!" prompting the man to point at her saying "AHA!"

Anyone who thinks the humanities makes people more expansive should spend four minutes in an English department meeting.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/humani...
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

3 weeks ago 165 20 2 1
1-panel SMBC comic update. A man is tied to a chair, begging for mercy. He shouts "No! No more water! I can barely breathe!" A shadowy figure replies "but humans like water! They always need more water! Now open wide!" The caption below the comic reads "after decades of suffering Steve's houseplants finally exact their revenge."

1-panel SMBC comic update. A man is tied to a chair, begging for mercy. He shouts "No! No more water! I can barely breathe!" A shadowy figure replies "but humans like water! They always need more water! Now open wide!" The caption below the comic reads "after decades of suffering Steve's houseplants finally exact their revenge."

Later, it puts him in a corner and forgets about him for six months.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/water
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

3 weeks ago 164 27 1 0
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5-panel SMBC comic update. A man and a woman who are siblings are talking, the woman excitingly saying that they did it, they found a cure. The man immediately is relieved that he will live, saying she is the best sister in the world, and apologizing for being so mean while they were growing up. She leans towards her hand placed below her waist, saying she has the cure down here. The next panel cuts to her hand creating a circle with her thumb and index finger. She then punches the man, yelling "BOOOOOM!" This is a reference to the schoolyard prank where if someone looks at the gesture, the one making the gesture punches them.

5-panel SMBC comic update. A man and a woman who are siblings are talking, the woman excitingly saying that they did it, they found a cure. The man immediately is relieved that he will live, saying she is the best sister in the world, and apologizing for being so mean while they were growing up. She leans towards her hand placed below her waist, saying she has the cure down here. The next panel cuts to her hand creating a circle with her thumb and index finger. She then punches the man, yelling "BOOOOOM!" This is a reference to the schoolyard prank where if someone looks at the gesture, the one making the gesture punches them.

Later, while he's crying on the floor she wedgies him without mercy.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/cure-3
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

3 weeks ago 141 13 2 0
1-panel SMBC comic update. The panel is fully colored in black, implying the characters are in a dark room. Four talk bubbles are visible and nothing else. The first character says "Ooh, what are you wearing?" The second character replies "I've got nothing on but my sock and my sandal." The first character corrects them "you mean sockS and sandalS." The second replies "they're not for my feet, girl."

1-panel SMBC comic update. The panel is fully colored in black, implying the characters are in a dark room. Four talk bubbles are visible and nothing else. The first character says "Ooh, what are you wearing?" The second character replies "I've got nothing on but my sock and my sandal." The first character corrects them "you mean sockS and sandalS." The second replies "they're not for my feet, girl."

S and S is a form of S and M.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/shocks
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

3 weeks ago 91 7 1 0
1-panel SMBC comic update. A woman in a board meeting is standing before the table, looking annoyed. She says "what? Just because we are battling a deadly neuro-parasite doesn't mean our fundraiser ads have to be humorless." The caption below the panel reads "question: What did the pork tapeworm say to the man who didn't want fluid-filled sacs forming in his brain? Answer: I encyst!"

1-panel SMBC comic update. A woman in a board meeting is standing before the table, looking annoyed. She says "what? Just because we are battling a deadly neuro-parasite doesn't mean our fundraiser ads have to be humorless." The caption below the panel reads "question: What did the pork tapeworm say to the man who didn't want fluid-filled sacs forming in his brain? Answer: I encyst!"

This comic is for an audience of one, named Kelly.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/humor-2
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

3 weeks ago 114 16 3 1
4-panel SMBC comic update. A frog tells a princess that he's a prince turned into a frog. The princess replies "and if I marry you, you'll turn back into a man?" prompting the frog to answer "No, but your father will secure a trade agreement for barley and cabbage." The princess replies that she's not sure he's her type, so the frog taunts her with "is a kingdom full of starving peasants your type? huh?"

4-panel SMBC comic update. A frog tells a princess that he's a prince turned into a frog. The princess replies "and if I marry you, you'll turn back into a man?" prompting the frog to answer "No, but your father will secure a trade agreement for barley and cabbage." The princess replies that she's not sure he's her type, so the frog taunts her with "is a kingdom full of starving peasants your type? huh?"

Later she has to decide if broadcast fertilizing a lake without telling her is a kind of cheating.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/noble-2
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

3 weeks ago 140 13 0 0
Image promoting the Barnes and Noble showing the cover of SAWYER LEE AND THE QUEST TO JUST STAY HOME and the promotional code PREORDER25.

Image promoting the Barnes and Noble showing the cover of SAWYER LEE AND THE QUEST TO JUST STAY HOME and the promotional code PREORDER25.

Image promoting SAWYER LEE AND THE QUEST TO JUST STAY HOME.

Image promoting SAWYER LEE AND THE QUEST TO JUST STAY HOME.

Barnes and Noble is running a huge preorder sale for members of their free rewards program! You can use the code PREORDER25 at checkout when you get SAWYER LEE AND THE QUEST TO JUST STAY HOME from March 24th to March 26th.

bit.ly/4pObzKo

3 weeks ago 15 2 0 2
4-panel SMBC comic update. A teacher is speaking to a class. She tells the kids that today they will be learning about Phi, the golden ratio. She points out that "when you look at flowers, at nautilus shells, at the arms of spiral galaxies... None of those produce the golden ratio because its infinite decimal expansion defies the sort of precision found in nature!" The teacher continues in the following panel with "Nothing is golden in this fallen world, kids!" In the final panel, a student raises their arm to ask if the teacher is still letting the divorce intrude on her work-life, to which the teacher replies "did you know if you count the points on a pinecone they are still less numerous than your sorrows?"

4-panel SMBC comic update. A teacher is speaking to a class. She tells the kids that today they will be learning about Phi, the golden ratio. She points out that "when you look at flowers, at nautilus shells, at the arms of spiral galaxies... None of those produce the golden ratio because its infinite decimal expansion defies the sort of precision found in nature!" The teacher continues in the following panel with "Nothing is golden in this fallen world, kids!" In the final panel, a student raises their arm to ask if the teacher is still letting the divorce intrude on her work-life, to which the teacher replies "did you know if you count the points on a pinecone they are still less numerous than your sorrows?"

There should be demotivational YouTube math videos. Just to be different.

COMIC ◆ www.smbc-comics.com/comic/phi
PATREON ◆ www.patreon.com/ZachWeinersm...
STORE ◆ smbc-store.myshopify.com

3 weeks ago 160 16 5 1