This reminds of how Felix on Chapo once said we need a national hotline for Americans to be able to call and say their insane opinions and the dude on the phone indulges them just to keep everyone else safe.
This Is Just To Say
I have turned off
the AI features
that were in
the update
and which
you were probably
hoping
to monetize
Fuck you
they were stupid
so unnecessary
and so annoying
Finally picked up and started reading Maria Adelmann's The Adjunct from @scribnerbooks.bsky.social. And I gotta say the way Adelmann describes the adjunct experience is very authentic and relatable.
Lol. You'd fit right in. I'm the baby of the department at 38.
Ok. Good luck to you. And if you somehow find yourself in Philadelphia, let me know. Most of my coworkers are like 60 years old, so everyone is on their way to retirement.
I recommend UPS obviously. Been there 20 yrs. Great pay, great benefits, a pension, and we're union. Only bad things are they're cutting the workforce down after the e-commerce boom, so getting in is tough. And two, getting full-time work there often takes forever unless you become a driver.
Yep. I got it when I was in college. They even paid for some of my tuition. I've kept it when I started adjuncting in grad school. They even pay my health benefits!
This is why my love my job as a car washer. Absolutely rules that I drive UPS trucks through a car wash and put gas in them and not have to think about it all. Then I can use that brainpower for coming up with really stupid shit for my characters to say.
Why didn’t I short this dogshit?
ME: I need to insert a footnote
MICROSOFT WORD: *spitting blood* fuck you, fuck your mother and fuck your footnote
If conservatives hadn’t tried to cancel Jelly Roll Morton in 1904, we would have never had ol’ Tricky Dick in office.
I hope one day I can reach too much college-brain where I start saying shit like, ”People who don’t like Return to Oz (overwhelmingly bigots) basically paved the way for Donald Trump’s victory.”
Emily asks “what’s the best U2 song in your opinion, and why is it I Still Haven’t Found what I’m Looking For?” A user responds, “Sunday Bloody Sunday way haunting my little brother murdered our dad on super ho Sunday”
This was the most Bluesky response I ever received on Twitter
Getting on TikTok and saying "If you have even once been momentarily unable find your shoes, you have ADHD. If you never lose track of your shoes because you always keep them in the same place, you have autism," and walking away with a cool million.
where's you revolution, leftists? har har. i get to be smug because our liberal tactic of preventing fascism by winning elections is going so well
All the other bloodthirsty American presidents were mentally sound actually.
If you find an unlabeled bag of husks in your cupboard and you're only 90% sure it's sichuan peppercorns, you can find out by grinding them up and putting them in your big dumb mouth. There's also dozens of less stupid ways.
in persian culture, telling someone "we're going to kill you all" is considered deeply offensive
CHUNGKING EXPRESS (Wong Kar-Wai, 1994)
It’s 3AM. Time to set off my car alarm ten times.
I was once like you, paycheck to paycheck, wearing Pringles cans as leg warmers. Til my Grandma got two jobs. Now I buy whatever I want.
*Trump tears off his own flesh to reveal a diabolical android powered by an unspeakable otherworldly demon shade with glowing red eyes and begins firing death lasers*
"I will vaporize all life on this puny planet!!"
This is obviously a crime. Can you imagine if Obama had done this?
"go jump in a lake", "take a long walk off a short pier", "put an egg in your shoe and beat it", "go peddle your papers" these are just some of the violent, actionable threats journalists and academics face every two to three months on bluesky, or as some call it The Murder Website.
I'm a one-issue voter, and that issue is "will you make Warner and/or Criterion release this in 4K?"
Print Run subscribers should do this to Erik but with tennis.
knife: my job is to cut
spoon: my job is to scoop
potato masher: my job is to prevent you from opening the drawer
Anytime a student starts writing an email that says something like, “I can only come to the first five minutes class because I have to leave early for my appendectomy,” there should be a pop up that says, “Do you really want to send this? Your prof doesn’t even take attendance.”
Two shots from Chungking Express. He Zhi Wu stands in a convenience store lamenting, "We broke up on April Fools' Day...So I took it as a joke."
happy he zhi wu day