My entire feed is in german lmfao whats up with that !

i must now ask you, as your doctor, a sensitive question,,, during your infidelity with those creatures, those demonic women, did you for one instance taste of their blood?

Shout out to Hackers (1995) for introducing us (me and orbital)

Wife Hack could be a sick horror movie

I have the theme song to Elmo’s World stuck in my head

Cant cry too busy racing my thoughts for a lark

Can’t sleep too busy wanting to cry but not being able to

One thing about me is that I love to use up the entirety of the character limit of whatever platform im posting on, ive become p good at naturally reaching the line like my brain has been modified by these dumb apps so that my thoughts fit into a few hundred letters or so, im pretty weird for a girl

Sent this to someone on bumble after they didnt respond for a few days when i asked if i could have their chocolate chip cookie recipe and then i felt embarrassed bc im not one to double text a stranger on a dating app but i just couldnt resist bending this meme 2 suit the specifics of the situation

Very disappointed in the table i had tonight that asked me for insight into their keychain tarot card reading, didnt laugh when i asked if desert was in the cards, left a nice note on their receipt, and only tipped 15%

True story

Woman goes to docter says “doctor i am so sad my ass has shrunk and i cant find joy in life anymore.”
Doctor says “good news, the great clown pawgliacci is in town. Go see her show and you will leave happy and with a huge ass.” woman bursts into tears, “but docter, i AM the great clown pawgliacci”

I am boofed and uncouth, and im going to bed !! #progesterone #goodnightsrest

Can’t believe the hot russian princess of questionable heritage would call the queen of England a bad faggot….

Glory hole but for boobs

I dont need google to tell me that someone out there has written a story abt a mentally ill girl who goes on a quest to fuck sasquatch… if i was a different person, id write it myself!!

Im going to go take communion.

Goddamnit.

A book entitled A Wish For Giants by Aaron Dunbar. The cover shows a small hand with pink and green nail polish and a hospital wristband caressing a giant beastly and hairy hand.

I should have read the back. Maybe ive got it all wrong and its a terminally ill kid make-a-wish story crossed with finding bigfoot, but this cover just looks like Manic Pixie Dream Girl fucks Sasquatch

Doing poppers while watching the worst action movie ive ever seen starring Senator Arnold Schwarzenegger and playing my silly little rpg eating chips for the sole reason of using the empty bag for my halloween costume schemes. Monday again ? The contents of my purse are splayed across my bed

Girl films

At work I should be allowed to refuse service to cops because it goes against my religion: lesbianism

Do NOT, under any circumstances, allow DIY bands onto bluesky 🙅‍♀️🚫

Watching truck repair tutorials 🤤

Bluesky user who only posts soup puns: tomato.bsky

I love skeeting

These posts are called “skeets” and posting on here is called “skeeting”