It would be so efficient!

There are some ways around not wanting to know something, but like anything with a catch there's a knowing something you didn't even know you didn't want to know so...I tricked you into eating flashcards

I have been thinking of going back to school to facilitate a career change. If I can go back to driving school and learn to parallel park, I am sure that job path ends in great success

“Remember your training” I admonish myself as I try something I never trained for.

[car accident]

Stand back, everyone. I’m no doctor but I have a box of Band-Aids®️ containing every size they make.

I have not had a single professional interaction with a man in the past five years where he didn't loudly wife or girlfriend me (regale me with elaborate stories of their female companions) within the first five minutes, and I wonder if they think I am afraid of them or they are afraid of me

There is nothing familiar about the inside of this whale but the swallowing took me back. The 90's indie rock scene, books I thought I should read, too much time with the wrong person, all in boxes outside, oh shit my ex kicked me out of this whale

[Walking into the bank]

I see debt people

Smart

I’m proud of you 🥹

you lose 40 pounds and suddenly the glp 1 accusations start

like sorry i'm boring. i just ate better and exercised 😭

Magnificent

Should be one bank for everything. Checking, savings, loans, blood, sperm, spank all under one roof

Babe, I know you thought I was a sensitive soul when you saw me crying during that Cure song but I really just had a chicken bone stuck in my throat

Lube Mobile ad YouTube video by actualperson34

Hey brain, 4:11am's an interesting time for the lube mobile jingle 🤗

youtu.be/K0-Nw2aA9jo?...

A beach. Sand and blue water. With a cliff and blue sky in the background

Where I skeet from

1/3 of the manosphere audience is writing long form journalism about the other 2/3.

She can spare SO MANY SQUARES

every now and then i'll have the brain worm of "what's that song that's like "do doo doo doo doo do do do i am sad and drinking coffee" and then scramble for 5 min trying to figure out how to google it before i remember that it's Tom's Diner

Whoever named no-see-ums absolutely killed it

ouch

u ok babe? you've barely done any doomscrolling

awake, for ye punishment awaits

California king is a mattress that’s sober aside from smoking weed

Delicious new girldinner / recession dish

- toast
- garlic, minced
- yoghurt, greek style
- tuna, can in (olive) oil

Bon appétit!

💯

🥰🥰

Hello, I would like to waste 3 seconds of your time. Thank you.