You just went “fuck it - it won’t make a difference” and dumped the dairy in all at once, didn’t you?!

Your sauce has split!

And it isn’t even a SAM Coupé game! The loading instructions literally tell you to load a Spectrum emulator and then load the game from that!

LIV GoLOLf.

Surely you get plenty of exercise already, lifting those catering-size tins of peas down from the top shelf in Lidl.

I have a soft spot for Echelon. Yes, it’s an incredibly janky conversion of the C64 original, and runs like it’s been written in Basic. If you turn off the combat, though, and treat it as an exploring game, it’s a lot of fun to just fly around and collect the artifacts to solve the main puzzle.

One of the absolute worst software houses ever to exist.

A rightfully angry feline, delivering swift, bitey justice to his idiot human pet because the idiot human DOES NOT WANT SNUGGLES at this exact point in time. I mean, what the hell is up with that?! Stupid human.

My cat says hi. And that he understands your cat’s infernal torments.
Currently all he wants is to climb over the iPad into his stupid human’s lap, and he is becoming thoroughly annoyed by his stupid human’s attempts to rebuff him.

Look, no matter what shit happens in the next few hours, I’m sure we can all take solace from the fact Wrexham just got absolutely humped.

That’s the most romaine-looking cabbage I’ve ever seen!

Salad and gravy is definitely a… bold choice.

Haha! It’s like when I look at my Xbox 360 games collection and there, sticking out like a sore thumb, is Fuel, because Codemasters decided to write the spine title the opposite way to every other game.

It’s just the front and back cover.

Arts & Crafts day at the old folks home?

So… many… shitty… Tiertex… conversions.

“What day is it?” asked Pooh.
“It’s fucking Sunday, you fat, yellow twat!” screamed Piglet. “I’ve told you three fucking times already! Are you fucking thick or what?!”
“Fuck you, you little pink cunt.” muttered Pooh.

No wonder their games were only 99p!
This looks like it was drawn by someone having a stoke, blindfolded, in the middle of an earthquake.

Insanely generous review of an absolutely honking game.

Pea-to-chip ratio is highly disappointing to what I’d usually expect. You having an off day?

A cunt, several yesterdays ago.

I would say “Ha!” but the long range forecast here has predicted more snow for Wednesday, so I’ll keep my mouth shut instead.

*poke*
Are we dead yet?

I, too, shall enjoy scenes like this.
In August.
Before the first frost at the beginning of September.

THIS IS BULLSHIT!

A snowy back garden. Because I live in fucking Lapland, apparently.

Snowing again.
All you UK fuckers with your “Ooh, look at the buds and the leaves and the daffodils and the blossom and the returning migrating birds” can fuck right off as far as I’m concerned.
This is absolute bullshit.

Chuck Norris has not died.
Death has Chuck Norris’d

You’ve got to be suffering from some kind of vitamin deficiency to crave that amount of peas, surely.

The Dune poster, with the text reading “There’s nobody here but us chickens”. Which is from the cult (and very surreal) 1990’s British sitcom “Nightingales”.

Yes! Literally the only correct answer to that question.

*muffled laughter*
*cough, splutter*
*deep breath*
No, Brian, those look absolutely top, lad. Keep ‘em and wear them every day.
Honest.