A picture of an Orion Rogue from Battlelords of the 23rd Century - a femme presenting character with elf-like ears, blue hair, and seven fingers. The words on the cover read "BATTLELORDS OF THE 23RD CENTURY Orion Rogue, copyright 2010 AVPI, art by Giorgio Palombi, Battlelords of the 23rd Century is a registered trademark of SSDC Inc, used under license"

Battlelords of the 23rd Century was a tough TTRPG to love in the 90s* but they didn't do themselves any favors by giving their cool-rogue flavored Fonzie species HANDS WITH SEVEN FINGERS.

Like cool, take every artist's least favorite body part to draw & add two more fingers to it. In 1991.

ooooh just thought of like three more and will be exploring none of them. a pleasant day to you.

SO many directions to get weird with this

Relax, they're just kissing, we'll be fine.

Not sure what that is, but I do find something soothing about being reminded that Robert Z'Dar existed.

*unless you lived in Buffalo NY where the authors were rockstar-tier nerd gods, or if you thought 2 hour character creation was a fair tradeoff for being 1HK'd in the first combat.

I kid, but I still really loved it.

A picture of an Orion Rogue from Battlelords of the 23rd Century - a femme presenting character with elf-like ears, blue hair, and seven fingers. The words on the cover read "BATTLELORDS OF THE 23RD CENTURY Orion Rogue, copyright 2010 AVPI, art by Giorgio Palombi, Battlelords of the 23rd Century is a registered trademark of SSDC Inc, used under license"

Battlelords of the 23rd Century was a tough TTRPG to love in the 90s* but they didn't do themselves any favors by giving their cool-rogue flavored Fonzie species HANDS WITH SEVEN FINGERS.

Like cool, take every artist's least favorite body part to draw & add two more fingers to it. In 1991.

I lay barely awake this morn

A perfect breeze drifted thru
dancing across my blanket-tender skin

Drifting in & out of consciousness
having little pleasant micro-dreams

Twas so nice
I forgot the Annoying Orange existed
& remembered Robert Z'Dar did

Then I had to pee

Thanks universe
I needed that

For context, I was walking in that outskirt part of most cities, where the car dealerships live. Bus stops are separated by miles. It was like 11AM on a Sunday.

Dude was just dressed to the 9s, out vibing to an oasis of mild weather.

That is aspirational behavior.

Walked by a fella in a lounge singer's tux, spotless and shimmering, rings on his fingers, and the widest smile. He bumped exciting music, in a language & style I didn't recognize, from a soda can shaped speaker.

This is the America I am proud to live in. Bless King Funkytux, whoever he was.

If you got that joke, check and see if you still have any of that stuff you shoplifted from Hot Topic & Spencer's.

JD Vance sighs, sits on the opposite side of the bus, and the force of everyone moving seats steers us away from the room with the moose.

I lay barely awake this morn

A perfect breeze drifted thru
dancing across my blanket-tender skin

Drifting in & out of consciousness
having little pleasant micro-dreams

Twas so nice
I forgot the Annoying Orange existed
& remembered Robert Z'Dar did

Then I had to pee

Thanks universe
I needed that

A selfie of Z. Mann Zilla.

Entering my Anton LaVey phase.

If you wait until you're 50 to have a midlife crisis, you live to be 100. Follow me for more life hacks.

That explains why they kept putting random prompts in my thong instead of money.

Have to miss stream today, apologies.

I took on a big project with a tight deadline, and forgot those words stop being sexy when applied to spot-checking inconsistent punctuation on a 650-page manuscript.

Everyone please welcome to the stage, BLEU CHEESE HERETIC!

She has a name but I'll pass your kind words on regardless 😆

I wanted to feel sexier, but only like 10-15% sexier. Just a skooch in the sexy direction.

A selfie of Z. Mann Zilla.

Entering my Anton LaVey phase.

If you wait until you're 50 to have a midlife crisis, you live to be 100. Follow me for more life hacks.

FIBER UPPERCUT

I'm also in a mask & big obvious "don't talk to me" headphones. No ask, just straight to denim massage.

Her similarly aged husband then told me to cool my jets, like I was the one being weird. My bigger-than-him jets remained visibly hot. They scurried away.

The heck is wrong with these doinks?!

A photograph of a blue denim jacket. It has a canvas print of a human spine glued to the back, and has a spraypaint tag all over it. There's a white hoodie with brown diamonds poking out of the top.

Had a similar experience during the pandemic. I was at self-checkout. I suddenly feel hands rubbing all over my back. I turn around & some daffy unmasked 60s-ish lady is fondling me like a sad goat at a petting zoo.

"I LOVE YOUR JACKET!" she says. Here's the jacket in question.

Anyone else find that old people these days are just weirdly OK with unsolicited touching?

Friend of mine was at work, serving an older person who, out of nowhere, grabbed & pulled their head & just kissed them between the eyes.

Like, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm sure this has NEVER been okay.

I have this deck, it's a personal favorite (though be warned, the cards are even bigger than standard tarot sized cards; all the better to see the cool art!)
joesparrow.bigcartel.com

It's 2028 and the Five Dollar Footlong is back. Unfortunately it refers to how far you can drive a car on $5 of gas.

"Ah, she's poetry in motion," I coo, as she glides 5 steps past me, trips down a flight of 7 stairs, and breaks her leg in 5 places.

congratulations to the astronauts who get credit for a moon mission using rocket development work by trans women who had to quit their job and flee the state of florida and can’t celebrate this win with their coworkers

A close up of an angry Dr. Mario face, with sparks flying all over the place, suggesting anger. Handwritten letters say "I BEG YOUR PARDON?!"

DOCTOR: Treatment is simple. Great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go and see him. That should pick you up.

SOBBING MAN: But doctor, I hate Italians!

DOCTOR:

Streamer: "Chat, are we cooked?"

Crew of the HMS Endeavor watching a Twitch stream for the 1st time: "Cook... are WE 'chat'?"