Schnorrers' portion of latest Substack - Chuffers 'nite spot,' medieval thoughts on self-pleasure, & old age body building... a reading from the not quite best-selling book Wrestling In Honey

substack.com/@martinkelne...

Yes, I wasn’t a veteran then!

Bottled lager is bollocks, Arsenal a tough watch these days, & Leeds genius Mik Artistik on rastafarian wiring... plus Charlton Athletic, football from the era of Brylcreem, luncheon vouchers, & corned beef

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Bottled lager is bollocks, Arsenal a tough watch these days, & Leeds genius Mik Artistik on rastafarian wiring... plus Charlton Athletic, football from the era of Brylcreem, luncheon vouchers, & corned beef

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/eet0s...

Message from Patrick on X. ‘Upgrading has been a true revelation!

Food tastes better. The air seems fresher. You'll have more energy and self confidence than you ever dreamed of!’ Martinkelner.substack.com

Sampler of latest Prime Kelner Substack - the chicken collection, & who killed Riboflavin? This is the free bit - tuck in! But consider upgrading for the whole thing....

substack.com/@martinkelne.... Hello schnorrers. Tuck in!

For fans of lame puns, the film club returns from 1am @tsExtraTime @talkSPORT #butchersfilmclub Gorky Pork, Meat Me In St Louis, Liver Let Die, Forest Rump, The Fabulous Bacon Boys, Little Chop of Horrors, The Spy Who Loved Meat, Much Ado About Mutton

SNL UK not terrible shock ....and be careful criticising comdy, there's always a chance time will prove you wrong...

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

SNL UK not terrible shock ....and be careful criticising comdy, there's always a chance time will prove you wrong...

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Free bit of latest fantastic Substack: Scott Mills, Tardis sold, Thomas Markle's nurse, & more! All the news that's fit to print, and quite a lot that isn't. Holder of several awards, and winner of a selection box of Shippams' fish paste from the Daily Express, but it's the Legion d'Honneur I'm...

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Free bit of Kelner's 'prime' Substack - Folk on or Folk off, plus customer feedback and 10cc All the news that's fit to print, and quite a lot that isn't. Holder of several awards, and winner of a selection box of Shippams' fish paste from the Daily Express, but it's the Legion d'Honneur I'm...

substack.com/@martinkelne...

Free bit of latest fantastic Substack: Scott Mills, Tardis sold, Thomas Markle's nurse, & more! All the news that's fit to print, and quite a lot that isn't. Holder of several awards, and winner of a selection box of Shippams' fish paste from the Daily Express, but it's the Legion d'Honneur I'm...

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Free sample of latest fantastic pod. On fetishes, cyclists, & other matters of moment. All the news that's fit to print, and quite a lot that isn't. Holder of several awards, and winner of a selection box of Shippams' fish paste from the Daily Express, but it's the Legion d'Honneur I'm...

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Free bit of Kelner's 'prime' Substack - Folk on or Folk off, plus customer feedback and 10cc All the news that's fit to print, and quite a lot that isn't. Holder of several awards, and winner of a selection box of Shippams' fish paste from the Daily Express, but it's the Legion d'Honneur I'm...

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Free sample of latest fantastic pod. On fetishes, cyclists, & other matters of moment. All the news that's fit to print, and quite a lot that isn't. Holder of several awards, and winner of a selection box of Shippams' fish paste from the Daily Express, but it's the Legion d'Honneur I'm...

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Overpriced sourdough, flat white decaff latte, & writer Jonny Liew now at heart of Middle East war! This is part one, the free sample. All the news that's fit to print, and quite a lot that isn't. Holder of several awards, and winner of a selection box of Shippams' fish paste from the Daily Express, but it's the Legion d'Honneur I'm...

substack.com/@martinkelne...

And now Bluesky changes glik to glib

Free portion of Latest Substack - Kelner's Live Lounge crowdfund attracts 65 Canadian dollars... All the news that's fit to print, and quite a lot that isn't. Holder of several awards, and winner of a selection box of Shippams' fish paste from the Daily Express, but it's the Legion d'Honneur I'm...

substack.com/@martinkelne... This was meant to be a free 15-minute preview of prime content, but Substack decided to send you the lot. So tuck in! Zol zein mit glib

Hoorah for the Commonwealth - Canadian dollars come flooding in, Footy in Melbourne, & ants in Nairobi, plus Morrissey, gay or nay... & Marching On Together, top anthem, 3D printing, & the smooth sounds of Kelner’s Live Lounge

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

The Oscars, the joy of Ethan Hawke, and half-woman, half-fish Plus the Fabs, & a free sample for schnorrers, we hope!

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

The woman having regular sex at 64! Only problem is she lives at 66. This is a freebie, a glance at the way newspapers work and how to win the marvellous lavishly produced book Wrestling In Honey.

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Alan Bennett, Peter Sellers, Liza Minnelli, Country Joe; Hello Teenagers! And classic moments from the Piss Poor Podcast, the joy of the Manchester 392 bus

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Here’s my friend Watko at Grand Prix in Melbourne. Hear his report on my Substack tomorrow. Martinkelner.substack.com

Children's TV, Evelyn Waugh, Korgis - the devil dog, & the Mystery Voice competition... This is Part Two, the prime content

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

The Results are in! Anthony Bradshaw, you are the winner! Not of a £4m house in the Cotswolds, but a copy of my hilarious book Wrestling In Honey Email me Anthony with your postal address, I'll sign the book, walk down to the remains of Wakefield's post office and bang it in the post, and as always thank you so much for your subscription.

substack.com/@martinkelne...

Operation Epic Fury, Condom Full of Walnuts, ITV's Chris Choi, & Mr Nobody for the Oscar And the 'snaggle-toothed breast whisperer.'

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Mrs Murton before she was Mrs Merton. A tale of TV It's not so much who you know or what you know, but being where you are at the right time

substack.com/@martinkelne.... Genius!

Operation Epic Fury, Condom Full of Walnuts, ITV's Chris Choi, & Mr Nobody for the Oscar And the 'snaggle-toothed breast whisperer.'

open.substack.com/pub/martinke...

Mr Nobody Against Putin, Who wants to live forever, the joy of Nottingham, & Tony Blackburn's wild parties Once again Kelner 'mixes witty conversation, satire, and quirky observations on current events,' according to Chat GPT. And this time it's for free!

open.substack.com/pub/martinke.... After BAFTA win, a genuine contender for the doco Oscar. Hope it wins, but suspect the excellent Pavel Talankin might want not to be among those present!