20 is watching a movie and I'm taking a nap 😴

I will always love Star Cinemas

this meeting could’ve been a commercial

This👇

Why is it so hard to find a Texas Sheetcake in Texas?!

What the heck was that ending of The Pitt?!

I had 2 soft serve margaritas, would recommend.

Bill Pullman looks great.

Staycation BBQ

Every single day I Google "How much longer is this Presidency?".

So you want me to est healthy and it's going to be expensive?

Not around here, partner.

I stand by my answer and Ted Cruz would also be a valid answer.

97 people were laid off at my job today. 😒

Today's at a meeting an ice breaker question was "Name a disaster or tradgedy that Texas will never forget".

I said Greg Abbott.... and let me tell you.....

Calculating how many days I'll survive if I walk out right now.

due to a rift in the space-time continuum, you can send exactly five words to 2016

CHICAGO POPE NETFLIX HAS ADS

JLo is performing at Coachella and it's like okay, granny, let's get you back home.

I quite possibly had the worst instacart delivery tonight, as if Sunday Scaries weren't already taking me out, now I'm nervous and have no bread.

If you notice that I took a screenshot of our texts, don't make anything of it, I'm just blind and need to enlarge it to see it.

a cartoon of spongebob wearing a spongebob hat with an anchor on it ALT: a cartoon of spongebob wearing a spongebob hat with an anchor on it

There is a job listing for a wolf caretaker, $7.80/h.

There is also a job for a marketer, Masters only. $11.90/h.

NOBODY WANTS TO WORK

I feel like Sonic doesn't want anyone to come there anymore. We weren't going for the food.

I would like to introduce No Body, No Getting Out Of Jail.

Marked Safe ✔️

Chilifest was canceled due to rain, medical emergencies are down 98% in the county compared to last year.

When someone thinks you're great with geographical history but you just know all of the extradition laws from the shows you watch so you know not to go there with anyone.

I did!

1.9 stars on the company that posted the job is just mint.

My biggest expense at this point is chicken salad sandwiches.