Things have been going really well for me across the board so it was only a matter of time before I suffered a bad haircut.

We are devastated but we will rebuild.

Whatever the positive version of 'irreparable damage' is, that's what I'll be doing this summer!

After Stranger Things (don't ask), the second they started talking about Broadway Cares, some woman got up to rush out, immediately tripped, and face planted in the aisle. She made a loud SMACK as she hit the ground. It was the greatest moment of my life.

"I'm freezing outside, I feel my skin tight
My coat is inside, but I look up at you." - The Little Match Girl

The reason every line she delivers begins with "Your father, President John F. Kennedy..." is so people like me remember she's playing Jackie.

She's writing a letter to daddy.

Every time you think you know about all the gay guys, you find out about a new gay guy. Need to look into this. Very concerning.

ELSBETH Renewed for Season 4 at CBS Everybody's favorite New York detective isn't going anywhere. CBS has given a Season 4 order for Elsbeth, the police procedural dramedy series led by Carrie Preston.

Elsbeth is returning for a fourth season!

I wish a lot of things...

AOC: What we saw today was a criminal murder a woman while she was trying to flee for her life. What we saw today was a manifestation of every American’s worst nightmare: their government turning into a tyranny.

Emily, girl, do NOT come back from Paris.

The period between Christmas and New Year’s should be called Melancholia.

Can't believe I haven't watched my gay hockey show (Heated Rivalry) because I had to finish my gay alien invasion show (Pluribus) and start my gay bad show (Stranger Things) first!

Mayor MayWho on Christmas morning.

You're going to pay for making me watch the gay hockey show.

You're all going to pay.

Something feels ... somehow correct about being forced to watch the Heated Rivalry finale in my parents' basement.

NO way there was a whole banana in there!!!!

I wish the Grinch were real just so he could be murdered on television

Congratulations, those of you who decided to platform fringe voices and create a climate of fear and hate out of ignorance because those voices insisted a non-problem was a problem. They're now on an HHS stage trying to ruin children's lives. You will live with the harm you have done forever.

Neeeed to see it immediately.

That said... I AM going to find you and kill you.

Waiting for the day when replying to spam texts with "I'm going to find you and kill you" bites me on the ass.

John Oliver really was not kidding about the overwhelming rebellious power of just saying “Fuck you, make me.”

Challenged myself to think of a good, non-problematic straight man and, earnestly, the first one who came to mind was Kermit the frog.

MISERY exists in WHEN HARRY MET SALLY. WHEN HARRY MET SALLY exists in MISERY. Welcome to the Reinerverse.

Will Arnett was on Conan and told a story about how Conan dealt with the death of his parents by accusing Jason Bateman of killing them. It’s so funny.

Hollywood Labor Comes Out Swinging Against Warner Bros.-Netflix Deal: “This Merger Must Be Blocked” The most severe in its criticism was the Writers Guild of America, so far.

“Netflix is the biggest streaming service in the world. Consolidating its power over the streaming video market not only kills jobs but also raises prices and hurts the U.S. entertainment industry.” www.hollywoodreporter.com/business/bus...

Danced in my scanties

Might book a doctor's appointment just because I'm in the mood to yell at someone.

If I had a gun, I would keep it in this box.