🤣🤣

Need a plumber to look at a boiler in a flat on Faulkner Square, Liverpool. Can anyone recommend someone?

If Keane had lightly slapped Gueye back, would the ref have sent them both off?

Cos we still would’ve won.

UTFT! 💙

Thanks for coming pal!

Thanks for coming pal!

Not good enough mate. V disappointed 🤣🤣 Congrats on the new baby!!!

Can we talk about Friday?! ☺️

My tour hit a packed Liverpool Playhouse and it was GLORIOUS 💓

Thanks to everyone who came out and to Michelle who got onstage to do press-ups with me for a reason I can’t quite recall 🤣

I love you all xxx

📷: Andy Hollingworth

The commentary for Scotland's 4th goal last night might be the greatest piece of sports commentary ever.

Pure chaos and joy.

McFadden on co-comms screaming 'SHOOT! SHOOT!' before Liam McLeod shouts 'He's gonna shooooOOOOT OH HAS THAT GONE IN?! OHHHHHHHH!!!'

Pandemonium! Class.

I'm in awe of what Sara Cox is doing right now for Children in Need!

5 marathons in 5 days (in British autumn weather) is frankly, ridiculous 👏

I was lucky enough to appear on her show a few years back. And I'm pleased to report she was just as lovely and down to earth off-mic as she is on air.

WW1 - Archduke Franz Ferdinand assassinated
WW2 - Hitler invades Poland
WW3 - Nonce

‘In the future, everyone will be in the Epstein Files for 10 minutes’
- Andy Warhol

Hearing reports that Jeffrey Epstein is mentioned in the Epstein Files. More to follow.

‘Next on BBC1 we’ll be discussing if the BBC are institutionally biased. But first up, it’s Bargain Hunt with Nigel Farage…’

BREAKING: BBC apologise to Donald Trump for editing a speech to make him coherent.

That point against Sunderland looking much better in hindsight…

John Lewis ‘British Values’

Why did people vote for the new Mayor of New York?

If you’re working full-time and still can’t afford basic food and rent, something is severely wrong.

If Dewsbury Hall was any sloppier he’d have to go home in Tupperware.

Venue had a guest book so I wrote this.

Having a moment.
Thinking about all the people who’ve come out to see me on this tour so far.
Leeds last night was a joy.
Thanks to Stuart for the best heckle.
Thanks to Katie Tracey for her brill support slot.
Thanks to everyone who came out, either the 1st time or the 5th.
♥️

Leeds! Let’s goooo 🤘😍🤘

Rachel Reeves.

An apology.

Parliament won’t discuss Prince Andrew?!

Prince Andrew.

Trump AI video.

Thanks to everyone who came to Hedge End on Friday. A really special venue for me. Shout out to Hanif who bought me a beer during the interval and Tanya who took this pic. Next up, Wrexham 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

The biggest problem with AI is that I now presume every video / image I see to be AI-generated and thus believe nothing.

Fridge is broke. Not going to bed till I’ve eaten everything.