I just wanna enjoy my last day of PTO playing some games, but Pancake here is OBSESSED with this controller and is VERY upset that I would like it back.

I would simply not pester her about the green ribbon she wears around her neck at all times. That’s not my business.

Just had a kid in 🎯 look me dead in the eye and wish me a "Merry Queef-Mas." I thought Happy Holidays was the universally accepted phrase this time of year but maybe I'm wrong.