@thebossbeach.bsky.social youre marked green on shinigami eyes, truly the king of chasers

God bless

Explaining discrimination to a nerd:

Okay so all of your rolls for job interviews are -1 with disadvantage

Sharks, my idea is the Malthus cafe, which puts out the same number of meals every night, and if too many people come in, you gotta kill guys until there's enough to eat

Just let me install Arch Linux in peace

Nice

*hungover Chicago zookeeper awakening with horror*

I've been hacked

All my apes, gone

driving a Volkswagen Type 1 Beetle with the "I BOUGHT THIS BEFORE WE KNEW HITLER WAS CRAZY" bumper sticker

Oh, nah, I've been following the even Deeper State, they're doing way cooler and more nefarious shit. But it's good you're finding a hobby

Only hanging out with people with noun names and it/its pronouns until I can finally hit em with the

"Road works? I sure hope it does"

Not eligible for life insurance so I'm buying jack stands off Amazon

My surviving children can sue ZEEBXAR and live off the proceeds like kings

Microdosing being a zoo animal by hanging out for an hour in the Costco display gazebo

The problem with buying in bulk to save money is you now have 24 red bulls in your house and no chaperone

Reading discworld and Deep Space 9 books until I can write fanfic about Lance-Constable Odo

Guy with anger management problems:

We have a "move fast and break things" motto around here

Watching YouTube videos and falling for the "Podcasters Dilemma," where you're compelled to shout and correct them even though they can't hear you

Mom, when I grow up, I want to be a mancer

Whatever it is, I want to mance something

Networking update:

Maintaining unbroken eye contact for the 100 feet before I pass anyone on the sidewalk

of course I PERSONALLY always bet on the seahawks. GO HAWKS

A cry for help?

Oh no sir, I just yell as loud as I can

Hate crime? I sure hope she does

Reflecting on the fact when I die the world will lose probably the least efficient conscious mind ever created

Like the Edsel, an end to an era

I became a man the day I stopped pulling the shrimp tails out of my Thai food and started just eating them

I've 4.5/5 starred restaurants you people wouldn't believe

Killing dozens of multiverse mes by closing my eyes while driving without a seatbelt

God saw my lifetime gamer score and let me right into heaven

All women dress like whores (hopeful, wishcasting)

Hey it's me Chairs Avelone from Ballout

It is a hidden test of love how annoyed vs delighted you are to hear them tell the joke, the story, the fact they've told many times before

Hey I was gonna drop stuff off is that alright?

Me: *have not moved in 3 days* yeah I'll actually be around then no worries