🎵Pete Hegseth is a fucking douche🎵

The scariest thing is he’ll then say the national parks are no longer making money and will have no choice but to sell them to the private sector.

That looks like it would have easily given him at least a bloody nose

Yeah, why do they still have an insane amount of energy after running around all day? And why do I feel exhausted just watching them?

It’s just like when Karens said “Karen” is the new N-word.

Yeah, but once you pay $5,000 in movie fees, Netflix gives you a 20% discount for the rest of the year. Then, once you pay $15,000, you can watch any movie you want for free for the rest of the year.

Remember when Obama wore a tan suit?

Can someone tell me how I can adopt Jeff Goldblum?

I literally have a coworker who talks just like this and no one can ever understand what he’s saying.

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Here are my top 10 Labrador Retrievers of all time!

If Obama let the flag even graze the ground, the republicans would be all over it.

If glasses called that because two lenses. Then why not monocle called glass?

Or why not glasses called bicle? Duocle?

Dicle? No, not that one.

Has he tried turning the government off and on again?

We need more controls for consumers overall. Like we can with internet and email. Let’s have working spam filters, blocking, geo filters, etc.

And this is just the beginning of FO time. So much worse FO is yet to come.

Oh hell yeah. Fellow millennials rejoice!

RELEASE THE FILES!

Literally doing anything he can to stop hungry people from getting food stamps.

So it’s not Turing Complete?

I’d give this comic a perfect 6 out of 7.

“Hey guys, check it out, I’m Tom Brady!”

“How’d you like that? I sleep in a beach bed with underglow lights!”

Me: “I sleep in a big bed with my wife.”

I have a very bad feeling about this...

I don’t get why he’s building that giant ball room. Doesn’t he have enough ballroom with how little endowed he is?

The Trump administration feels so long already that the Obama administration seems like it was 80 years ago.

The princess and the pea is such a stupid story. If someone is so rich and spoiled they can detect a pea under a mattress, then they deserve to be eaten.

So sad Santos was once America’s Mayor.

Butker tried to punch a few of them, but missed.

To avoid confusion, they will be renaming the Apple TV box to “Apple TV+”