Singing parachute at the top of my lungs cured me; at least for today.

Always an honor and a pleasure Miss Williams

Shoutout punkass bitch gallbladders and their emergency surgeries 😅

Pastina and bone broth was all I ate those first few days post op. It’s gunna be a real bland diet for a while.

Thank youuuuuuuuu ❤️
Did I get stoned and look at flowers all morning? Yes. 10/10 recommend

I love that Holland Michigan leaned in hard on tulips and Dutch shit. Like hell yeah the hotel has windmill pillows 😂

Amy and Eden both voicing their opinions

Have you ever gotten hollered at by 2 generations of family at the same time. 😂😅

We Amato’s sure are opinionated.

Crash out incoming: the house I have under contract is going to auction and DB won’t even look at my offer.

Back to square one and a whole new timeline of when I’m moving 🫠 thanks for wasting 2.5 months of my life you clowns.

Semi-annual changing of the closet wardrobe
1. I have too much clothing
2. My semi-annual reminder that I am far more out of shape than I want to admit 😅

Cannot wait to, hopefully soon, have a house so I can just have a summer closet and a winter closet and call it good.

Oh thank god.

I want a breakdown of division of assets and friend groups 👀👀👀

Okay, this one did make me laugh out loud. Because you’re absolutely correct.

Does the wind yeet the bulb into the stands? Cancel the game!

And as we checked the ops manual during the tailgate; there is no wind related documentation for delay/cancellation thresholds.

Happiest of Anniversaries to our favorite gals being pals!

We almost boycotted the home opener it was so miserable, like no one is coming to chicago to watch soccer outside in the winter and the eastern seaboard teams will be the same

I’m mad about chicago the first weekend of November and you want me right next to that lake in January get fucked.

It’s giving Sky Blue vibez (RIP)

If you gave me a Perry the platypus swishy suit, I’d simply never take it off

May I also join the scams? As a member of scam gang ™ soccer, I feel like I would be a valued member

Goddamnit guys.

do you think JD Vance looks in the mirror every morning and repeats “you did not kill the pope” until he believes it?

I stopped trying to understand them. Ya know what, sure, go get ‘em champ!

Let me enjoy my international break in peace ma’am

Saw Raye tonight and man, what a fucking show. 10/10 would go again and dance my ass off

Is this one of those ‘if I send this skeet’ I’ve been kidnapped and it’s a cry for help?

Yessssssss

See, now you understand

Honestly same. Think Frankel will let us get in with her on the Cesar salad insta?

Customized some Nikes for my @chicagostars.com game day fit this season.

I think they turned out real nice 😎

You understand the real questions Marge

Can’t wait until these event contract platforms are deemed illegal and go bankrupt and all these grifters lose their fucking money.